Category Archives: Misc

The Sock Gap

You might want to skip ahead to 4:21.

Jeff suggests that a man takes his socks off “after his shoes, and before his trousers.” Miss the sock gap, and “suddenly you’re a naked man in socks. No self respecting woman will ever let a naked man in socks do the squelchy with her.”

Why do I mention this only a few days after I previously posted this video in another context? Well, I went to the Honeysuckle Strip Spelling Bee at Buddies In Bad Times a few days back. As usual it was rather entertaining, but here’s the problem, the men competing, they didn’t seem to understand the Sock Gap. Approximately fifty percent of the competitors were men, and while the vast majority ended the night with their underpants on, and of them, the majority still seemed to have their socks on, too, which is perplexing. There were even a couple competitors wearing less than socks and underwear, and they still had their socks on.

I’m going to go on a limb and guess none of those men took any women home with them. Partially because the vast majority of the audience and contestants are gay.

Goals for “vacation”

I’m on pseudo-vacation. The school where I work is on break from today until a week Thursday. I’m working on Monday morning, and Wednesday (all day). That leaves ten and a half days for me to do what I please. I’m making goals for this vacation, but they’re kind of lofty goals.

Wanna suggest stuff?

  1. See people
    • Visit my family1
    • Visit the Millers
    • See Emily, tonight, post-Sadies, perhaps another time2
    • Visit Graeme and Heather3
    • Do some hangouts with Vince
  2. Concerts & Events
    • See The Sadies, tonight
    • Ron Sexsmith in-store
    • The Weather Station at Holy Oak, FUCK that’s the second sedar night. Damn goyim.
    • Go to at least one other show (anyone suggest any?)
    • Spelling bee!
  3. Books
    • Read “Life” by Keith Richards
    • Read “René Lévesque” by Daniel Poliquin
    • Read “Make Me A Woman” by Vanessa Davis
    • Read “William Lyon Mackenzie King: Dreams and Shadows” by Lian Goodall
    • Read at least three other graphic novels to be borrowed from the Toronto Public Library
  4. Television
    • Watch remaining seven episodes of series two of Waiting For God
    • Watch remaining two episodes of The Increasingly Poor Choices of Todd Margaret
    • Watch all six episodes of Jekyll
    • Watch remaining two episodes of Being Human (UK)
    • Give the North American version of Being Human another shot
    • Watch the season premiere of Doctor Who
  5. Films
    • Watch Polytechnique
    • Watch The Hanging Garden
    • Watch The Town
    • Watch Toy Story 2 with the Millers, continuing our Pixar marathon
  6. GSD & go places
    • Do two client gigs
    • Get passport paperwork filed and applied
    • Go to the Island, at least once
  7. This here blog
    • Write at least three blog posts a week. This doesn’t count.
  1. Okay, so this one is easy as it’s the sedars. []
  2. Perhaps overlapping with Millers. []
  3. Maybe help them move []

Manly March

It’s once again Manly March, and thus, we must live by four rules:

  1. No shaving.
  2. No complaining.
  3. No staying home if anyone invites you out.
  4. No ennui.

In any confounding situation simply ask yourself, “What would Beowulf do?”

This is a tradition among a select group of friends that is now in its second year.

Ankle show

So apparently Old Navy has begun an ad campaign to tell the world just how awesome I am. we all know, all the ladies want Ankle.

Most viewed posts of 2010

Here’s NH2F’s top 10 posts of 2010…

10) “Mayor Staypuft,” or Adam gets bitter about Toronto’s mayor, throws insults, but still puts forward good questions, to which no one cares to discuss.
9) “Fear Of Fighting,” or Adam yammering1 about the author.
8) “Vistek,” or Adam yammering about shitty customer service.
7) “How Did JFK Get My Spaghetti Video,” or Adam photographs a hottie.
6) “The End of,” or Adam has an idea to make the world a better place, but no one gives a shit.
5) “Poutine,” or I’m drunk.
4) “Apple & Canadian English,” or Adam doesn’t like that his iPhone neglects his nation.
3) “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World,” or Adam writes about a film.
2) “The Doctor Is Out,” or Adam bids adieu to the 10th Doctor.
1) “Ward 29 Debate,” or Adam visits his all-candidates debate.

  1. “Stop your yammering, and start your plannering, promposal-wise.” []

Favourite posts of 2010

I thought I’d go through my year, and see my favourite posts from 2010. This is not a list of my favourite concerts, albums, etc, but rather my favourite posts.



  • My first brunch experience at the Old Nick… I now go there weekly… at least.


  • A personal tale about knowing an author, Stacey Fowles, and then reading her novel. I would then embarrass myself by not recognizing her in a future meeting.
  • Reading about Canada & Mr. Diefenbaker.


  • Questions about where the groove might actually be.
  • Dan Mangan performed at Trinity St. Paul’s.


  • This photo is my lock-screen photo on my iPhone.
  • Some of my best portrait shots are of Allegra.
  • I had fun taking photos of Natalia.
  • While the subject might not have been too fond of these pictures, I think they’re quite good. Sure, the subject is ugly1, but that doesn’t matter much.



Best insights into humanity, as written by me

  • “If you see a penis, it’s a comedy; if you see a vagina, it’s a drama. It explains why women laugh when I remove my pants.”
  • “Either I’m becoming a normal human being, or I have liver failure.”
  • “Her prose are compelling, straight to the point, and beautiful in their nude honesty.”4
  1. I know she’s not really ugly, but our friendship is based on mutual hatred. []
  2. Actually, I also proposed to Aviva. 2011 is sure going to be busy. []
  3. “Alone in a corner, surrounded by candy.” []
  4. Proud of that one, because of how true it is. []

Halloween 2010

This year’s Halloween was a bust for me. I did absolutely NOTHING. While I did dress (temporarily) as a beaver the week before, I couldn’t bring myself to attend any Halloween festivities. Slightly annoyed at myself for missing both the annual pumpkin carving, and the Indie Bloggers Brunch.

This year’s pumpkin carving was specifically the “Toronto’s Public Services Memorial Pumpkin Carving1.” The above photo was stolen from Emily, who I assume is both the carver and photographer. She perfectly captured City Hall, and the T it makes in the negative space2.

I also missed crazy good times at the bloggers brunch, where people who are saner than I and who write coherently about music gather to hang out. They seem to invite me, even though I don’t usually write anything with any sense.

While I knew of other parties, that could have happened afterwards, I just wasn’t in the mood, and didn’t have anyone to schlep with me.

So, what did I miss? Other than The Sadies.

  1. Yes, all our events are a memorial. []
  2. Is it positive space on the pumpkin? It’s surely negative space in real life. []

An Open Letter To Everyone I’ve Ever Been On A Date With

I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.



Birthdays are lame.

I’ve never been a fan of birthdays. They’re kind of stupid, self-glamourizing bullshit. Then again, I blog, and isn’t that in essence what a blog is?

At many parties I feel like that picture shows. The odd one out, sad in the corner. I don’t know why, I love my friends, and I think for the most part that they love me, too. Yet there I am, alone in a corner, surrounded by candy.

I have no qualms with getting older, I actually am looking forward to being older, but I don’t like the insincere qualities of writing “happy birthday” on someone’s Facebook wall, when you don’t talk to them otherwise.

28 was amazing.

This past year I lived by a simple mantra, which has paid off in spades. The mantra is as follows, “I don’t regret things I do, I regret things I don’t do,” and it’s true. I used this past year as an excuse to do stupid things I wouldn’t necessarily have done otherwise and I haven’t regretted a single one of them. Overall, I think this has been my happiest year alive1.

I still have two things left on that list, but they’re not urgent, and can wait. One is the tattoo, and the other is jumping out of an airplane.

28th Birthday

I kicked off my 28th birthday last year by asking my friends to help me with an embarrassing project, which involved posting ads to Craigslist. It was worth a lot of laughs, and a good way to kick off the year.

29th Birthday

Later this month I’ll be celebrating number 29, and I don’t know how to go about this. I need something, stupid, fun, and perhaps embarrassing to help ring in this year, and that’s where you come in! Yes, you!

How do I celebrate this milestone? I’m not necessarily looking for a party, and certainly not looking for gifts2. However, bringing my friends together in a communal project like we did last year is a) a lot of fun, and b) a great way to start a year.

Cari suggested a game of truth or dare, in which you guys dare me to do stuff at a party, which could work, but seems silly in its focus on me, which is not what a party should be. That I think could work more in a internet based project. Send in dares or truths which can be accomplished and even be a year long project.

But I’m looking for more suggestions, this is just one. I need to know what we can do to celebrate the passing of the best year, and ring in another. I want to hear, silly, over the top suggestions. Get to it!

  1. though that’s not saying much. []
  2. Please, no gifts. I have enough “stuff.” []

Drunk pregnant women

My friend E.W. posted this to her Facebook wall, and there was a bit of an outrage.

A few days later, CCM and JH were having a debate at a party, whether the same kind of response would happen if someone posted that about a pregnant woman drinking. I volunteered to take one for the team, I don’t think it got the response either of them wanted. Perhaps I just have weird friends who are more interested in Little Britain.