Category Archives: Misc

Midnight Slushies

My friends and I have the strangest traditions.

Years and years and years ago, I was working in a hell hole at Dupont & Christie and living up in Thornhill (with Mommy & Daddy). I decided it was time to leave Thornhick, and move to the city-proper. Taking public transit from Bayview and 7 was a pain in the ass. I found a place at St. Clair and Bathurst, which meant I could walk to work. I was really excited about that. I was also excited for a large number of other things… one of those things I mentioned to my then-coworker Graeme was the prospect of Midnight Slushies from the local 7-11.

Midnight Slushies for the uninitiated are a semi-frozen drink flavoured with syrup, consumed at midnight. For some odd reason Graeme held onto this, and the day I moved in, sleeping on the living room floor (I don’t remember why… I’m pretty sure we had a bed), I hear the buzzer go. Graeme and Heather were downstairs with sushies. Mmm, Midnight Slushies.

This then happened again, when I moved from apartment 303 to apartment 102 in the same building. I was once again awoken by Midnight Slushies. Why didn’t I remember?

It didn’t happen when I moved up to Hillhurst, but it happened again, when I moved into my current place, on Broadview. This time, with Vince, too. When my phone rang and I heard “We’re here, we’re naked and we’re ready to look at pictures,” I was very confused. However, when I realized it was the three of them, with slushies, I was happy… until I tasted it… Sack’s Fine Food does not have very good slushies.

I wasn’t the only victim to midnight slushies. I remember we did that to Shel, too. However, she never answered the door. Instead we all stood outside her apartment, with slushies.

Tonight, however, to celebrate Vince’s departure from Leslieville and move to Wychwood (wait, Graeme, Heather and I all move from the Wychwood area to Playter Estates, and then he does the opposite?!?! WTF!), we dropped by his new apartment, slushies in hand.

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window*

*Call, call, call, straight to voicemail*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window*

*Call again*

“Hey sexypants,” or some other greeting along those lines.

“We’re here, we’re naked and we’re ready to look at pictures.”

“You guys aren’t at my place are you?”

“Yes, I’m guessing you’re not.”

Apparently Vince had left ten minutes earlier than we got there. He was headed for the Pour House, so Heather, Graeme and I popped in my car and joined Vince with some slushies. In the end, midnight slushies were 74% successful.

Names

I’ve determined that the best way to judge romantic compatibility is how ridiculous a name combination can be.

Just look at my best friends, the Misbies. They’re perfect for each other and the hilarious combination of Miller and Crosby works so well.

Then there’s my ex, we had an ~8 year relationship, and when you combined Hood and Anklewicz, you got Hoodlewicz. You cannot deny that amazing power of such a ridiculous name combination. Obviously only powerful enough to last eight years, but that’s much better than my usual 30 minutes.

It also works with other couples, I can look at my coworker and her husband to be, and we get… Dalby + Flotner = Flotby | WIN!

There’s Neuman and Mendez which can equal either Meuman or Neudez, and either WIN!

I’ve gone and continued this trend to figure out where possible relationships might take me within my group of friends, and it’s surprisingly very simple:

Note: I’m leaving first names out, as this is not just published to Facebook (where 99% of the readers read it) but it’s also on my blog.

Also note: If you’re included in this list, please feel free to take this to mean that I’m madly in love with you. This may or may not be true, but you can assume.

Shepherd & Anklewicz = Shephewicz | FAIL
Muchmaker & Anklewicz = Anklemaker | FAIL
Licht & Anklewicz = Lichtewicz | Sounds like the name of a city in Germany
Vail & Anklewicz = Anklevail | FAIL
Emme & Anklewicz = Adam Emme Anklewicz | That could work, too bad she’s married.
McDowell & Anklewicz = McAnklewicz | Though it was funny for a week, nope.
Polk & Anklewicz = Polkewicz | Sounds like polka!
Hamill & Anklewicz = Hamillwicz (this can work for either B or K… sadly, I don’t know B’s maiden name… I’ll assume it’s Awesomepants, because that would be the most apt description of her)
Awesomepants & Anklewicz = Anklepants | Damn near perfect.
Langer & Anklewicz = Anklang | Nope.
Miller & Anklewicz = Ankler | Maybe that’s why we’ve always been such good friends.

So, I take this to the logical conclusion (much like The Boosh took retro to its logical conclusion)  and I’m forced to resign myself that the perfect woman for me is Neko Case.

Case & Anklewicz = Anklecase. Yes, the greatest thing ever!

So, Neko, this is a public proposal, sure, you’ve never met me, but should that matter? Remember when you were recording Fox Confessor here in Toronto? You were borrowing/renting a lot of equipment from a computer shop. I was one of the geeky guys who worked there. We never talked. It was the other Adam you talked to… but that made sense, he’s an audio guy. I’m not. We know a lot of the same people. I once interviewed Mike Belitsky, he’s a really nice guy. I know a couple of the former Local Rabbits, and they were once your Boyfriends; Peter always seems to be nice to me. I’ve shared many a nice chat with Ron Sexsmith, who again, was once among your Boyfriends, and though he probably doesn’t remember (he always seems to be drunk), I can tell you he was always cordial and polite, so obviously I never overly offended him.

Also, while we’re on the topic of the Boosh… clicky.

Really?

Your result for The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test…

Joe Normal

35 % Nerd, 9% Geek, 35% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored less than half in all three, earning you the title of: Joe Normal.

This is not to say that you don’t have some Nerd, Geek or Dork inside of you–we all do, and you can see the percentages you have right above. This is just to say that none of those qualities stand out so much as to define you. Sure, you enjoy an episode of Star Trek now and again, and yeah, you kinda enjoyed a few classes back in the day. And, once in a while, you stumble while walking down the street even though there was nothing there to cause you to trip. But, for the most part, you look and act fairly typically, and aren’t much of an outcast.

I’d say there’s a fair chance someone asked you to take this test. In any event, fairly normal.

Congratulations!

Twenty Ten

Want to learn how to pronounce 2010? Click here. Via The Daily What.

Oh, Caroline no!

Just got this email from my insurance adjuster.

Hi Adam,

I spoke with the other parties insurance broker and the agent is going to be meeting her their client on Tuesday to take a statement.

So hopefully I can get this resolved by early next week.

Thanks.

Regards,
<Insurance Adjuster’s Name>
Claims Settlement Adjuster

I wonder if his statement will be, “I’m a douchebag.”

I really

Cock-a-doolely-do-wa

Thank , this is back on YouTube.

Where has your headlight gone

Caroline smash

On Halloween, I returned to my car to find my baby girl (2000 Honda Civic) was injured. It was a bad night, fortunately, some lovely person saw what happened, and noted the plate number on an old TTC day pass. That person is a hero to me.

Yesterday, I got my girl back, she’s doing fine, and the lovely folks at the body shop fixed her up real well.

Today I got a call from the Toronto Police Service, telling me they “apprehended the vehicle and have laid charges.” I’m guessing they’re not charging the vehicle, but the person, but either way, I’m giddy!

Road trip, anyone?