Ben Gunning

Went to see Ben Gunning last night, he was releasing his second solo record, Mal De Mer. He played the complete record. For more photos, click here.

Lyrics Volume 4: Misheard Lyrics

For Volume 1, click here.
For Volume 2, click here.
For Volume 3, click here.

In this edition of Lyrics, we’re going to discuss my favourite misheard lyrics.

Back in 1999, Thrush Hermit released their defining record, Clayton Park. During the opening track, they had what is perhaps the best lyric.

If I were Phyllis, I’d take a bullet and impress my friends.

Who is this Phyllis chick that randomly takes bullets to impress her friends. I’d like to know a bird like that. Turns out it was:

If I was fearless, I’d take a bullet and impress my friends.

Not nearly as awesome.


Next we have a song by Kingston’s The Inbreds called “Amelia Earhart.” Mike O’Neill sings:

I know she’s safe
because she’s an excellent alligator

Since when was Amelia Earhart an alligator? Well, why not, she should be, Amelia Earhart surely is one of the coolest women in history… and if she wants to be an alligator, all power to her! Oh, what? She’s not an alligator?

I know she’s safe
because she’s an excellent navigator

Well, that’s slightly disappointing.

Lyrics volume 3

For volume 1, click here.
For volume 2, click here.

On Friday night I went to see $100 at the Horseshoe Tavern, and I knew right then that I should include them in this ongoing series of awesome lyrics.

With only one album, one EP, and two seven inch records in their limited catalogue, there’s not much to choose from, but the it seems nearly every song has something worth talking about. Whether it’s songs about the hostile relationship between mother and her transexual son, self-righteous men who impose their beliefs on a lesbian couple, suicide on the TTC, or sloppy lovers, it’s easy to find something to talk about.

Instead of these, I chose the song “Fourteen Hour Day,” which is a tale of a woman and her husband, a miner in Timmins. Wishing to be able to lay down with her husband, when he’s busy working a fourteen day as the foreman in the mine. They spend their years toiling away, hoping for something better, until the end.

There’s a dip here in the mattress,
Beside me where you lay.
I can’t bear to lie here, oh I weep my night away,
You know I weep my night away.

I’ll grab that shovel darling,
March up to your grave.
Dig a hole right next to yours and next to you I’ll stay,
Yeah, next to you I’ll stay.

The pure sadness and desperation of hers is heartbreaking.


How does one end an era? John Lennon did it with a simple statement.

I don’t believe in Beatles

Nicknames

Listen here, I’ve just had it up to here with this stupid nickname, and it has to stop. I know, I know, you guys think it’s funny, but no, no, it’s not, it really isn’t. From now on whenever one of you decides to call me by that incessant nickname, I’ll call you by a stupider nickname, isn’t that right Colonel Spicy Bottom? So if you see this vein a-poppin, Suzy, I don’t want you off daydreaming about that boy you met in the malt shop, getting your panties in a bunch, wondering, “does he? doesn’t he? does he? doesn’t he? does he? doesn’t he?” Well I can tell you, he doesn’t want to make pasty-Aryan-love to you. Instead, you should run, run like the little girl you are, Melinda.

If you choose to go on about how much easier it is to call me by that nickname, because there’s another Adam in our group, well, a good portion of my friends who call me by that nickname, don’t even know the other Adam, and you call me by that nickname when he’s not even around. For this, I mostly blame Stampy McSpillyPants, but she’s not the only one to blame. You all do it, in your casual acceptance of this nickname, Janine.

So, Slappy Bag, if you ever get the urge to call me something other than my name, well, I’m just going to have to go ahead, and re-heh-heally start calling you these nicknames. You got that, Trash Bag?

If I Were A Rich Man

Courtesy of Chromewaves, I’m now aware of a cover by Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Fields singing “If I Were A Rich Man” from Fiddler on the Roof.

[wpaudio url=”http://www.chromewaves.net/mp3/radio/MagneticFields-IfIWereARichMan.mp3″ text=”Stephin Merritt – If I Were A Rich Man”]

Oh No, Forest Fires

When you socialize with a specific group of friends, you can often feel like the entire world is a part of your insular group. When I’m sitting in a bar with a bunch of music nerds, talking about Rural Alberta Advantage or Julie Doiron, it seems like everyone should and does know about these bands. I take it for granted that I can easily make conversation in my circle of friends and mention countless bands without any need for explanation or context.

Yet, I was phased when I walked out of my apartment building, and overheard a couple talking about Oh No, Forest Fires.

Midnight Slushies

My friends and I have the strangest traditions.

Years and years and years ago, I was working in a hell hole at Dupont & Christie and living up in Thornhill (with Mommy & Daddy). I decided it was time to leave Thornhick, and move to the city-proper. Taking public transit from Bayview and 7 was a pain in the ass. I found a place at St. Clair and Bathurst, which meant I could walk to work. I was really excited about that. I was also excited for a large number of other things… one of those things I mentioned to my then-coworker Graeme was the prospect of Midnight Slushies from the local 7-11.

Midnight Slushies for the uninitiated are a semi-frozen drink flavoured with syrup, consumed at midnight. For some odd reason Graeme held onto this, and the day I moved in, sleeping on the living room floor (I don’t remember why… I’m pretty sure we had a bed), I hear the buzzer go. Graeme and Heather were downstairs with sushies. Mmm, Midnight Slushies.

This then happened again, when I moved from apartment 303 to apartment 102 in the same building. I was once again awoken by Midnight Slushies. Why didn’t I remember?

It didn’t happen when I moved up to Hillhurst, but it happened again, when I moved into my current place, on Broadview. This time, with Vince, too. When my phone rang and I heard “We’re here, we’re naked and we’re ready to look at pictures,” I was very confused. However, when I realized it was the three of them, with slushies, I was happy… until I tasted it… Sack’s Fine Food does not have very good slushies.

I wasn’t the only victim to midnight slushies. I remember we did that to Shel, too. However, she never answered the door. Instead we all stood outside her apartment, with slushies.

Tonight, however, to celebrate Vince’s departure from Leslieville and move to Wychwood (wait, Graeme, Heather and I all move from the Wychwood area to Playter Estates, and then he does the opposite?!?! WTF!), we dropped by his new apartment, slushies in hand.

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window*

*Call, call, call, straight to voicemail*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock knock knock*

*Knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window, knock on bedroom window*

*Call again*

“Hey sexypants,” or some other greeting along those lines.

“We’re here, we’re naked and we’re ready to look at pictures.”

“You guys aren’t at my place are you?”

“Yes, I’m guessing you’re not.”

Apparently Vince had left ten minutes earlier than we got there. He was headed for the Pour House, so Heather, Graeme and I popped in my car and joined Vince with some slushies. In the end, midnight slushies were 74% successful.

Domain

So, this is hosted at anklewicz.com, and I’m thinking that the content of this, it might not be the best way to sell it. I’d keep anklewicz.com, and have it redirect to a new domain, and continue to be my primary domain. So I’m thinking of classic songs (in my mind, ie, ’90s Canadian indie rock) and using titles for the domain.

Unfortunately sweetrelease.com is not available. I want opinions.

400metres.com
cutmythroat.com
everythingwritesitself.com
ferdinanddesaussure.com
neverhadtofight.com
reasonwhyimshy.com
secretforjulie.com
songsforthegang.com
waitingforslowsongs.com
waitingforsloansongs.com

$100

I just got home from The Horseshoe, where I saw $100, for the fourth time. I’ve seen them in many modes. When I first saw them at the Music Gallery, opening for Rick White, they were a two-piece of Ian Russell (Guitar) and Simone Schmidt (vocals). Since then, they’ve rounded out their numbers and now perform as a seven-piece. Apparently Rick White was so impressed by the band, that he asked to record their album. I was so impressed that after their set, I went to the back of the church and purchased their EP.

I then later saw them opening for Eric’s Trip at the Mod Club, it seems Rick White really liked them, and figured fans of his band, the lo-fi heroes known as Eric’s Trip, would also dig them. I certainly did. I again saw them when Julie Doiron came to Toronto promoting her record I Can Wonder What You Did With Your Day. So it seems that I couldn’t see $100 without also seeing Eric’s Trip or a former member of Eric’s Trip.

The country band has evolved considerably since I first saw them, and I’ve always been more and more impressed every time I saw them. Their album is pure gold.

Click here to hear Simone sing about lesbian love, and those who keep them down (or watch above if you’re not on FB).

Today was a celebration of the release of their new 7″ My Father’s House, volume two in their series of regional 7″ records. The first release Fourteenth Floor was released on Toronto-based Arts and Crafts. This second 7″ is released by British Columbia’s Deranged Records.

Opening up the night was Stripmall Ballads, a resident of Washington, DC, USA. Stripmall Ballads is Phillips Saylor with a guitar or banjo. Listening to his MySpace page, you’d think that his shows would be rather mellow, but the man has so much stage presence, and power in his playing, that is seems like a full band is on the stage. Definitely worth catching if you, and he’s apparently spending the week in Toronto recording with Simone.

Following Saylor was followed by The Lonesome Ace Stringband, an old-time country trio, of double bass, fiddle and banjo. If you like good old-fashioned country music, this is perfection for you. Max Heineman sounds like he was born to sing country music. The three men were all playing acoustic instruments surrounding a handful of microphones taking up a tiny portion of The Horseshoe’s generous stage (it is if you compare it to Rancho or Sneak’s). The audience were dancing and having an amazing time.

Finally $100 played their set, emerging in a cloud of smoke, they tore up the stage with “Paris Is Burning,” not the soft, depressing song of the record, instead lively, loud and amazing start to the set. The played a lot of songs I didn’t recognize, they played both sides of the new 7″, and both sides of the previous one. Included in the set were long-loved songs like “Careless Love” and “Hell’s A Place.”

Paul Mortimer’s guitar playing was top-notch as he featured heavily in the mix, often overpowering even Schmidt. The only thing that was perhaps off was the inclusion of “Fourteen Hour Day” in the set. It’s perhaps the best song of $100’s, but the tale of a woman married to a miner, and completely lost without him is so beautifully depressing. It didn’t really seem like it fit in the heavier set.

Vistek Part II

First off, I should say the tripod arrived the next day. I also got a call from “Paul” making sure it arrived, again thanking and apologizing to me. I also just received this email.

Hi Adam,  I’m the Project Manager at Vistek and I also head up Customer Relations.  I have been working here for over 15 years and most of my years here were as Ron’s Executive Assistant.  I have handled many transactions for Ron’s customers including Leo Baeck Day School.  I was informed about your experience at Vistek and as I’m still shocked about the entire incident, I’m writing to apologize to you.  I am truly sorry that you were not treated with the high standard of customer service that we expect from our sales and management team.  There are no excuses.  I know you originally called Ron to get started with your purchase and I’m sorry that he was out of the country at the time and I was away on vacation as well. There are few words I can offer in explanation however, I can ensure you that your experience has been addressed with all staff involved.   I understand that we sent you a tripod this week and I hope you are pleased with the product.  On behalf of Vistek, I wholeheartedly apologize to you and hope you will forgive us.

Well, that’s at least something. Don’t know if I’ll ever buy there again, but it’s better than ignoring the issue.