Category Archives: Television

Doctor Who Story 160 – Aliens of London/World War Three

Aliens of London

Another “Previously on…” don’t really want that.

Rose should have had a chat with Tegan before she left so that she knew not to expect to be able to get back.

This is something that Doctor Who should have addressed a long time ago. The agony of Jackie needing to know where her daughter was for a whole year. I can’t imagine that trauma.

Hey it’s Tosh from Torchwood.

All fat people are farting bad guys.

Are these red barets supposed to be UNIT? UNIT wear blue barets, right?

A closeup of the pig was a bad idea.

I know this is a kids’ show, but the fucking farting.

Wow, the special effect of the aliens coming out of the human bodies is so much worse than I remembered.

Ahh, cliffhangers, remember those?

Confidential

Oh, they showed that shot of Zoe on top of the TARDIS console in that damned jumpsuit. #bum

Now I’m annoyed. Eccleston just said that he was annoyed that the man was the intellect and the woman was there to look good and scream and not be very bright. And they showed a shot of Zoe. Zoe might have screamed… and looked good, but she was super smart. When it was her, the Doctor and Jamie, it was Jamie who was the idiot. Zoe was often running circles around the Doctor. It was great. I miss Zoe and Jamie and the Doctor.

“Rose joins many feisty females who are often ahead of their time.” Mostly they showed clips of the stronger women in the Doctor’s life, but for some odd reason they included Mel. She was not a strong woman.

They’re talking about Ace now, and I think she’s the closest to Rose.

World War Three

The chase scenes through the corridors are excellently Scooby Doo.

“I need to be naked.” “Rejoice in it, your body is magnificent!” I feel ya, man.

Also, if 10 Downing Street’s security is that bad. Yikes! Though we learned how poorly prepared the US Capitol is for an insurrection recently.

The Slythene family reminds me of the Fords.

The Doctor is such an asshole to Mickey.

Gah, don’t call him “Mickey the idiot.”

The cell phones in this are amazing. Remember T9 texting?

Confidential

Not really paying attention, but they were talking about the special effects as if they were good.

I may have just been ignoring that as I photoshopped Bernie Sanders into my Facebook profile picture.

Doctor Who Story 159 – The Unquiet Dead

Episode

I am not looking forward to this one. I remember it being the worst of the first season.

It was a great decision on the crew of the 2005 show to do a teaser before the credits. It’s nice to get a tense moment with the theme music coming in on top of it.

That’s a flimsy coffin. I’d ask for my money back from Sneed.

“The stiffs are getting lively again!” is a great line.

I never loved Rose, but I do like her sense of wonder.

The ghostly vapours actually look better than one would expect.

Companions always getting themselves in trouble. The Doctor shouldn’t leave his companions alone.

Poor Gwen, afraid of herself.

The Doctor is an asshole.

The Gelfling should have just play acted longer that they were good. They were the architects of their own doom.

Confidential

This entire episode doesn’t seem to be about the episode of Doctor Who just about the TARDIS.

Doctor Who Story 158 – The End of the World

Episode

Oh, we get a “previously on.”

Eccleston’s hurt when Rose says, “you think you’re so impressive” is great.

Psychic paper makes its debut.

The Appearance of the Repeated Meme is really just an animated gif.

The giant jukebox being called an iPod is still a great joke.

Nice to have someone call out the Doctor on his lack of consent.

A suggestion to someone developing the operating system for an observation platform. If something is going to kill any living being, maybe make it require more than one button. Perhaps also have sensors to check if there’s an occupant.

There’s the first “bad wolf” mention.

Cassandra’s love of purity is not something I really want to watch, but at least Rose just had her best line, calling Cassandra a “bitchy trampoline.”

Jade was a great character and could have been a great companion.

For a man who doesn’t want to talk about who he is with Rose, he seems to get a kick out of being called a Time Lord.

The Doctor could have gone quicker and saved Jade.

“If you’re as clever as me, a teleportation field could be reversed.” He proceeds to rotate the dial.

Capital punishment really shouldn’t be an option for the Doctor. He had choices, he was in no immediate danger.

Confidential

What’s with the cheesy sexy music as the Doctor shows Rose the sun expanding.

Eccleston keeps calling the tree, Jabe. Not Jade. Looked it up and she is called Jabe. Wow, took me 16 years to learn this.

We had to make 200+ effect shots and we had 8 weeks, Gladiator had 100 shots and 9 months. Yeah… it looks it.

Colin Baker is taking about how the special effects were great for the time… compare it to Star Trek, which was 20 years prior to Baker’s era of Doctor Who.

Simon Pegg narrates this?

Doctor Who Story 157 – Rose

Episode

Hey! It’s time for a new Doc!

The quick day in the life is a great way to get to know Rose and she’s our point of entry for so many new fans to Doctor Who.

We see Jackie, and learn that Micky is obnoxious in the matter of seconds. We know she’s working a shitty job in retail and hates it.

Why is the CEO’s office inside the Hydro locker? My office has one of those and no one but Toronto Hydro has the key, so it would be strange if my boss used that as his office.

Oh man, the Doctor’s “RUN!” is one of the great moments of such a silly episode of Doctor Who.

Oh, CEO is not Chief Executive. It’s Chief Electrician. So why is she dropping the lottery money off with him?

“Nice to meet you, Rose, run for your life” is so great!

Micky is an asshole. So is Jackie.

Rose needs a new boyfriend, or to run off with a strange man with a time machine.

The Doctor’s costume is very normal, but it’s great.

He’s way too chipper for him to be right after he destroyed his home planet and killed every Time Lord and Dalek.

Micky is such an asshole.

Clive is an asshole if he leave the front door open for his wife to handle when she has an armful of laundry.

Putting Eccleston in the Kennedy photo is one of the worst photoshop jobs I’ve ever seen. I can do better than that.

“He has one constant companion… Sarah Jane Smith.” Well Eccleston’s constant companion is Rose.

Similarly, the CGI for the garbage bin that eats Micky is terrible.

I agree with plastic Micky… “pizza!”

That’s a fun way to introduce that the TARDIS is bigger on the inside.

In both this and the TV Movie, they spell out the acronym and it’s really weird.

“Lots of planets have a north!” is one of my favourite lines in new Who. Also, new Who is 16 years old.

And there’s the first mention of the war.

Rose’s decision to stay is the stupidest decision, but fortunately she doesn’t last long. The Doctor is much better than Micky.

Confidential

Oh, Sylvester McCoy is in this Confidential.

Oh and Peter Davison!

And Tom Baker!

There’s Colin Baker.

I’m not sure I’ll continue watching the Confidentials, I’m not sure if there’s anything of importance in there, and all I have to say about it, is that they talked to old Doctors.

This would be a podcast if this was now.

Doctor Who Serial xx – Doctor Who and the Curse of Fatal Death

Well, it’s Steven Moffat’s first time writing Doctor Who. It won’t be his last. And he’ll get much better at it, and then he’ll get much worse at it.

Part One

The Master is wonderfully moustache twirling.

Rowan Atkinson as the Doctor is reminiscent of Pertwee.

This might be the genesis of Moffat’s time on Doctor Who, because this anticipating all the traps is very similar of how Capaldi’s Doctor will be.

The Master should learn not to team up with the Daleks. It never works.

The Master with a walker is the best joke in this.

“These corridors all look the same!”

Part Two

The recap is a bit too long.

The “we will explain later” joke is great. As is “5 Dalek minutes.”

The regeneration effect is very similar to the Eccleston one.

“You’re the camp one.”

It’s funny, because he has breasts (eye roll).

“Doctor!” “Oh, assistant!”

Ah! The joke is that the Doctor can be a woman. Oh and the assistant doesn’t want her anymore. This seems very Moffat.

Had some fun points, but also, Moffat sometimes don’t see the right jokes.

Doctor Who Story 156 – Doctor Who: The Television Movie

Here it is, the first episode of a new era of Doctor Who.

Here it is, the last episode of a new era of Doctor Who.

Well for those who don’t know, it was a co-production of Universal, Fox and the BBC. Filmed in Vancouver, BC, this was the first and only full-length televised outing for Paul McGann as the Doctor. He would reprise his role for a short just prior to the 50th anniversary special, and in audio dramas for Big Finish.

So the Master was tried on Skaro, I guess by the Daleks. Why would the Daleks grant any request, let alone one involving the Doctor?

New TARDIS looks cozy.

Gooey Master.

That is the most undignified death for a Doctor, just walking out of his TARDIS to a stream of bullets. But I guess he is in America now.

This guy’s friends get shot and he ignores them and only helps the Doctor and calls and ambulance for him.

HAHAHAHA! He’s at the opera, with her opera glasses and gloves with a single tear. That is the most amazing intro to a character, ever.

So the Doctor didn’t actually die from the bullet wounds and would be fine if they didn’t do exploratory surgery due to his two hearts.

He was just involved in a shootout, why is there is no police.

Eric Roberts is about to possessed by gooey snake Master.

I can understand Brits not liking this, it is filled with annoying Americans.

Okay that goo snake is way too Stargate.

Yikes, that strip of light over the Doctor’s eyes as he sits up as McGann. We’re 1/3 of the way into this movie and McGann just showed up. A regeneration is story seems like a bad place to start Doctoring, but Matt Smith’s I think is a great jumping off point. So much of that is thanks to the girl who played a young Amy Pond. She did a fantastic job.

That piano music over the shot of a sleeping Grace was too reminiscent of a cheesy ’80s sitcom changing scenes.

Why does someone have a scarf in San Francisco and why do they need a scarf that long?

The Master’s wife is kinky af.

HAHAHAHA! He sees a clock and just says “time.” That’s amazing.

Don’t burn an XRay, that’s going to smell bad. Good thing it was just one XRay and not all the other ones they took.

Wow, Eric Roberts is a bad actor, and why is he wearing a cop badge?

Yay! It’s bigger on the inside.

How did the Master get into the locked TARDIS?

They’re really focused on the 12 regenerations and can’t stop talking about it.

This is so much worse than I remember.

45 minutes into this story until he knows who the fuck he is.

“The Doctor is half human!” Well that is gonna get retconned pretty quickly.

She calls 911, “yes, yes, I’ll hold.”

Wait, the Doctor can walk through walls?

The chickens are a nice touch.

No one is pulling over for the police or paramedics.

Only one person is allowed up there, I don’t think it’s the access card that is the actual limiting factor.

The Master gooed all those people.

“Stay calm, remain inside.” That’s what businesses said to their employees on 9/11.

Whoever decided to shoot this conversation through the column should be fired.

God, this is so bloody bad.

Wow, that kiss between the Master and Grace was Ghost Boy-level bad.

So many lightning effects.

Grace knows a lot about the internal workings of the TARDIS.

I don’t think the writers of this show understand time travel at all. In the words of Dr. Emmett L. Brown, “you’re not thinking fourth dimensionally.”

Did the Master just say to the Doctor, “you are my life.” That’s sweet, if not a bit creepy. Play it cool, Master.

So the Master now lives in the Eye of Harmony? I guess until at some point in the Time War when he’s released?

That gold lighting, according to 2005’s Doctor Who means regeneration. So I guess Grace and Chang Lee are regenerated? Wait, I guess that’s what happened to Rose… so these people can now bring people back to life? Are they like Captain Jack? I dunno.

Remember the turn of the millennium? Good times.

Wow, that was so much worse than I remembered.

The shot looking up at him beside his TARDIS is the most Doctor Who shot.

Doctor Who Serial xx – Dimensions in Time

Part One

Jon Pertwee looks great! I have no idea who this person Pertwee is talking to, but it’s just the intro.

Wow, those models of Hartnell and Troughton are terrible.

As is this version of the theme, terrible.

Tom Baker is great, “the grumpy one and the flautist.”

McCoy’s hair is too long, the hippy!

Wow, that doesn’t look like 2013.

I feel like they’re trying to smoosh in too many lines for too many people.

Susan looks good.

I forgot how much I hate Peri’s terrible accent.

I’m voting for Big Ron.

Part Two

“We’re helping Children in Need in Crinkly Bottom” wait, what???

Of course, Bessy makes an appearance.

This makes me never want to watch Eastenders.

How does Ace look younger here than when she was on the show?

Doctor Who Serial 155 – Survival

Well, here we are. This is the final story of the original run of Doctor Who. 26 seasons. In the words of Christopher Eccleston, fantastic!

Ups and downs. Highs and lows. I’m gonna rank my Doctors, I think:

  1. Patrick Troughton
  2. Tom Baker
  3. Sylvester McCoy
  4. Peter Davison
  5. William Hartnell
  6. Jon Pertwee
  7. Colin Baker

So let’s crack into “Survivor!”

Part One

I’ve known a great kitty who had black fur, and I can assure you, THAT is NOT a kitty cat.

How come Ace is from Perivale and not Perry.

Military self-defence asshole is an asshole.

The Doctor has communication issues. Needs to talk to Ace and not ignore her.

That cat puppet is terrible, and my cat behind me meowing at me, makes it better.

Okay, I spoke too soon. The amazing thing is the horse mounted Cheetah.

Yeah, Ace isn’t outrunning the Cheetah on a horse. Oh! She didn’t! She transmatted elsewhere.

Okay, now she’s running from the cheetah on a horse, again.

It’s a kitty cat Master!

Part Two

Oh, it’s a whole species of cheetah people.

The Master with a purring cheetah is wonderful. He’s so affectionate.

These people should listen to the Doctor. Sure, he’s a condescending asshole, but he’s also usually right.

When the cheetahs fight with one another they hasten the destruction of the world. I wonder what that’s a metaphor for.

Oh, staying on the planet turns you into a kitty. Maybe that’s why they look like men in cat suits.

NO! Ace is a kitty!

Part Three

THIS IS IT! FINAL EPISODE!

Why did they leave their horse behind?

Ace should’ve put a leash on her buddy and had her take her back home.

Well, turns out Ace could already do it, and didn’t need to be that far gone to do it.

Now why is the Doctor acting like Ace is perfectly fine.

Wow, I’ve never seen two motorcycles have a head-on collision and it lead to a mushroom cloud.

That was a nice ending. Ace is more of a badass, and their journey continues.

Doctor Who Serial 154 – The Curse of Fenric

Part One

That might be a first. Subtitled in Doctor Who.

Wow those Naval cadets are useless.

Oh look, Nazis. Old television, stop reminding us about modern problems.

Ace, you’re stupid! Swimming is great! I miss having a swimming pool. Stupid pandemic, let my building reopen our swimming pool, or make it spring and make my lake melt.

Well, I just read an interesting fact from the TARDIS Data Core…

A reference to Ace having lost her virginity was removed from the script, as it was felt this was unsuitable for a programme aimed at a family audience. (Ace’s character outline specified that Sabalom Glitz had done the honours.)

I can’t believe she boned Hopalong Glitz.

Part Two

Maybe it’s time for Ace to take off the hair net.

I think Sylvester McCoy could make a really good serious Doctor. I feel bad that hist stories are so hit and miss.

Old lady yelling at the young girls about the devil feels very American.

The young ladies are sirens.

I’ve lost track of the story. I think I’ve watched too much Doctor Who in the past few days, but I’m so close to the end.

“Objects can’t hurt us.” He should have thrown the bible at them.

Part Three

Ouch Ace, don’t assume ladies with babies as not married.

That stone wall looks to be made of Styrofoam.

That rolling ladder should be standard supply for Doctor Who companions.

Someone calling out the Doctor is perfect and needs to happen more. This is the best scene between Ace and the Doctor, and maybe one of the best in Doctor Who.

Part Four

The lady in uniform with the baby look kinda like Kristin Schaal.

The creature from the deep looks horrible, and I love it!

Looking at those women with their giant fingernails makes me wonder how they use their iPhones.

Doctor Who is getting more time travelesque storytelling.

That was definitely a better episode. I like Ace and McCoy.

Doctor Who Serial 153 – Ghost Light

Part One

Victorian times, again. Doctor Who likes Victorian times. The show’s been on so long, that maybe it started in Victorian times.

I like Ace’s shirt.

The sound mixing is terrible. It’s like a Christopher Nolan film. I can’t make out the dialogue under the incidental music.

I have no idea what is going on.

I don’t like Ace’s tux.

I remember having a discussion with a coworker when Doctor Who relaunched in 2005, and he said he didn’t like that it was a serial like the original. He was very wrong.

Part Two

Steamed buns are good. This one is filled with a spicy tofu recipe from Maangchi.

It’s not just the sound mixing that sucks in this story. It’s also the cinematography.

Part Three

This is horrible. Maybe the worst Doctor Who story.

Well, I’m never watching that one again.