Category Archives: Television

Doctor Who Serial 120 – Black Orchid

Part One

I don’t understand cricket whatsoever.

This is like the episode with James Corden when the Doctor goes to play soccer.

This is such a charming episode. “What would you do with a cock tail in a bath?”

Peter Davison knows the pain of tall people, he really had to crouch to see himself in that mirror.

Nyssa’s clone just so happens to have an identical dress ready to go.

Latoni’s voice has been terribly looped.

That was quite the faint.

I’m really enjoying this two parter. It’s a good pace, and a fun story. I wish classic Doctor Who had more two-parters.

Part Two

Well, this was a predictable turn of events.

I really like that the Doctor is proving his innocence in a murder by showing his TARDIS… He could be both an alien and a murderer. Oh, the cop is smart enough to say that, too.

As for the guy they keep tied up, they really should learn how to tie people up better.

I didn’t know you could make fires that only burn doors.

Aww, they couldn’t find a way out of this story without killing the “monster.”

Doctor Who Serial 119 – The Visitation

Part One

Wow, the opening music cue really sets the tons of this Doctor Who story.

Well, the butler was the first victim, so I guess he didn’t do it.

“We’re under attack!” In walks the gayest robot, ever. I love gay robots.

Adric’s version of fighting is to crawl on the ground and be something for the person to trip on.

It’s been a long time since a companion has fallen and twisted his ankle. I like that it was a boy this time.

Is that guy carrying styrofoam take out containers?

Part Two

That wall needs a sound effect like in Quantum Leap when Al walks through something.

The gay robot has a cloak now.

The alien costume looks like a bad theme park mascot.

Part Three

Why is Nyssa redecorating her room in the TARDIS… also, that’s a weird angle to put her bed at.

I love the thespian’s voice.

The aliens on the tv screen remind me of the alien scientists from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.

Tegan should listen to the Doctor more.

Part Four

That alien is seriously out of breath.

I love how empty boxes really do a number on an their attacker.

Since Part Three, I watched Bill & Ted Face The Music and I’ve gotta say that their gay android is better than this one. I like Dennis Caleb McCoy. I hope this dead gay android goes to hell and meets up with Bill and Ted. OH MY GOD! Dennis Caleb McCoy was played by NoHo Hank from Barry!

That’s not how you use a gun, Tegan!

Doctor Who Serial 118 – Kinda

Part One

Adric is a misogynist asshole.

“The primitives,” “savages,” hooray for British colonialism.

I’m not sure if I’m watching Doctor Who or the stereotype British soldier on Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Only 8 minutes in, and another instance of Adric’s misogyny.

Oh! Kinda is pronounced like the Yiddish1 kinder (children). It’s the name of the indigenous people from this planet, not this story being kinda like something.

The man in white face reminds me of Andy Kaufman.

Thank Roddenberry for Star Trek and the depiction of human future that wasn’t just about colonization. Yes, you could make arguments for the Federation being colonial.

HAHAHAHA! He even has a pith helmet.

Part Two

Who are these ladies with voices?

Oh my! The guy in the pith helmet turned into video.

Oh now there are more pith helmets.

Part Three

I like how the lady screamed before they even opened the box, and now the guy holding them prisoner is having a freakout because he is afraid of the dark.

Oh shit, they’re all turning VHS now.

The Kinda clown they hired is terrible. Either he’s never clowned professionally, or never done it for camera.

Oh shit! Everything’s going VHS!

Part Four

I found out Mango Language has a free Yiddish course. I did the first class. I learned how to say shalom aleichem. I already knew how to say that one. However, it’s making more likely to pronounce this episode like it’s Yiddish.

Adric keeps on being an asshole in every story. Oh, this is his last season. Good.

Mara is apparently a vampire.

Oh my! That is the most hilarious puppet!

  1. I guess you could say German, too. []

Doctor Who Serial 117 – Four To Doomsday

Part One

“That’s the trouble with women, mindless, impatient and bossy.” The problem with Adric saying that is not that Adric thinks that, which he does, but I think the writers of Doctor Who believe that.

Oh yay! They all get to wear the stupid helmets, not just the Doctor.

The team have split up, so I guess Adric and Nyssa are going to get captured.

The aliens are very interested in human fashion. I really hope that they’re just editors for an intergalactic Vogue.

Well, I was wrong. Only Nyssa got captured. Well, that was fast. Is that the real Nyssa? Okay, I don’t think this any more.

However, now I’m thoroughly confused. Doctor Who has long established that everyone speaks their native language and the TARDIS translates, but here Tegan is speaking to an Australian Aborigine in his native tongue, yet no one is hearing it as English. Yet, the Athenian is speaking English.

Enlightenment and Persuasion are wearing kick ass outfits. Tegan’s a great designer, but their choice to make them all emerald green is the greatest decision.

Part Two

“3 Billion people on this one ship? It’ll never get off the ground.” It’s a spaceship, why are you assuming it needs to get off the ground? Build it in space. Shuttles or transmats.

Interesting that these cultures have not changed at all over the past millennia. Except for the guy wearing the loin cloth and running shoes.

I thought this guy looked like Herb Tarlek from WKRP, my wife thinks he looks like Bill Hader. What do you think? Now that she said that, I see it. I really see it.

Part Three

They’re all robots. That actually explains a lot.

They keep saying there are 3 billion people on Earth. This episode aired in 1982 and Earth hit 4 billion in 1974. Weird to think that we’ve nearly double the population since then.

There is way too much hypnosis in Doctor Who.

There are a lot of helmets in this story.

At least by this point in BBC history, they’re using Asian people to play Asian people.

Part Four

Wow, the Doctor is racist against robots.

The wrestlers are wearing too much clothing. This is supposed to be greco-roman wrestling! Though, it’s very obvious that Enlightenment is getting enlightened by this display, if you get what I mean.

Someone at Doctor Who really like cricket. He uses a cricket ball bouncing off of a spaceship as propulsion back to the TARDIS.

The Doctor left the door to the TARDIS open in front of Monarch… why didn’t His Majesty go in?

It really sucks that the Doctor refuses to take Tegan home.

Doctor Who Serial 116 – Castrovalva

I guess we’re really done with Tom Baker, and it’s time for Peter Davison.

Part One

Some military police arrive and stop our heroes from rescuing the Doctor. Tegan and Nyssa steal an ambulance, drive it 3 metres to the TARDIS and leave Adric behind. Then the Master shows up, laughs, disappears, Adric is behind the Master’s TARDIS, comes into the TARDIS, they leave, the Master’s TARDIS shows up, the Master laughs, the Master’s TARDIS disappears.

That was… something.

Davison has a terrible haircut, but I enjoy him tearing apart his scarf.

“I wonder boy, what would you do if you were me,” he asks with his hands in his suspenders like William Hartnell used grip his vest’s lapels. So far I’m enjoying some Davison.

And now he’s doing a mediocre Patrick Troughton.

The Master’s moustache twirling villainry is tiring. And why does the Doctor have a Cricket locker room in the TARDIS? That’s a stupid question, the Doctor has everything. Oh, Adric is captured by the Master.

I think you mean universe when you said galaxy, Nyssa. But hey, Big Bang, sounds good. Just make sure you don’t end up on the Big Bang Theory.

Part Two

Disembodied Master head!

I love that the Doctor doesn’t have a fancy futuristic wheelchair, nope he has one from the ’80s.

Well, there’s some Pertwee nod, “reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.”

Why are Adric and the Master on the set for the music video for “The Rest Of My Life?”

Also, the Master is holding an original series tricorder.

After watching so many regeneration stories, I’m really happy that they restarted the show in 2005 without a regeneration. As much as I love Paul McGann, I didn’t need to see him to know that Eccelston was the new Doctor.

This is the problem with classic Doctor Who, so much wasted time as characters wander around.

Part Three

Very kind of the Doctor to leave a trail of blood for Tegan and Nyssa to follow.

Those Castravulvaians look like the eggmen, goo goo g’joob.

Oh! Celery! But he ate it, didn’t decorate with it.

Part Four

I enjoy the M.C. Escher building.

I feel like this story does not have much story for it. It could have easily been half the length. Maybe a quarter. It’s just a regeneration story, but usually there’s some plot outside of the Doctor’s regeneration.

The 1980s video effects are so bad.

Doctor Who Serial 034 – The Macra Terror

Part One

Well the companions are being idiots and attacking the first person they see. Sure he has a terrible hairdo, but that’s no reason.

Why have we never had a bearded Doctor?

“No one ever left alive in nineteen hundred eighty five will ever doooooo!”

Part Two

Those uniforms are amazing. The collar is so high, and the shoulder pads are good enough to be Romulan. That was the problem with Star Trek: Picard. not enough shoulder pads.

There is no macra!!!!

Those electronics are fragile, if you knock on them, you shouldn’t pop out of the wall.

Oh, there is indeed a macra, what a crabby beasty.

The controller doesn’t seem to be in control.

Part Three

Why does the music sound like a Nintendo game?

Part Four

These cheerleaders for the government are so much fun. I love this.

The Highland Fling is one of the things that makes me think Jamie is the best companion the Doctor has ever had.

Doctor Who Serial 030 – The Power of the Daleks

Part One

I was excited for a Patrick Troughton episode. I love the second doctor and Jamie… then I see this is the one story without Jamie. Well, it’ll be 2 and Ben and Polly. I can live.

I like the shot looking down the risey fally bit of the console.

Oh Doctor, you should’ve kept that hat.

Ben and Polly really just assumed that he’s the Doctor. The Doctor hasn’t said it.

Creepy!

Part Two

The original theme and opening credits were truly the best.

Lesterson’s glasses are fantastic. Don’t think they’d suit my face, though.

Lesterson should listen and not try to reactivate a Dalek.

Why is Polly the only one wearing shorts?

Part Three

Yeah we get that you are a servant. You only have to say it once.

People in Doctor Who need to stop being so shocked at machines having any sense of intelligence.

How could this scientist be so sure that the Dalek has a positronic brain? Why hasn’t he opened it before? Wouldn’t that be the first thing you’d do?

Haha, the Dalek wanting to shout how much better than Humans they are.

Oh shit, there’s three Daleks now. “When I say run, run like a rabbit.”

Part Four

That dude is going to regret letting the Daleks do stuff.

Oh the scientist is seeing the errors of his way, but the lady is becoming the evil one.

Janley, the lady, is giving the Daleks their guns… stupid.

Oh shit, the Daleks have Doctor Who on the TVs in their office.

Part Five

I feel like they haven’t figured out who Patrick Troughton’s Doctor is yet. He is great, but he’s going to be so much better.

“We are not ready yet to teach these human being the laws of the Daleks.” You seem ready, you have an entire army.

Did that jail guard really give a prisoner a water glass and a glass jug? That seems unsafe.

I forgot about Ben and Polly.

Part Six

Yes, I get it, you conquer and destroy, Daleks. You don’t need to scream it over and over.

I don’t get how Doctor Who convinced us that the Daleks could be the biggest baddest species in the universe.

Doctor Who Serial x – K9 and Company

The opening credits might be the greatest thing that’s ever been in the Doctor Who universe. K9!

Peter Tracy is a looker. Sarah should go for him.

God, I would never stay at my aunt’s place if within 10 minutes of arriving 3 strangers showed up to see how I was doing. Jesus, just let her be.

Wow, Ward knows way too much about a future robotic dogs.

I think this is the first Doctor Who christmas episode.

K9 is very obviously a robot dog and not the familiar of a witch.

Peter Tracy doesn’t want to be a witch.

So Sarah Jane leaves someone’s house. They are rude and don’t believe her, she gets home and nearly immediately that woman calls her up and tells her she can’t be alone and must come back. Why would Sarah Jane even consider that, you’re a rude bastard.

K9! do do honk honk!

Doctor Who Serial 115 – Logopolis

We’re here. The final Tom Baker story. I’m gonna take a Doctor Who break soon. After this I’m going to watch K-9 and Company, which is the next Doctor Who item to air. Then I’ve got two serials that were animated that I didn’t watch before. After that I’m not sure how long it’ll be before I start up Peter Davison’s era. Maybe a year, maybe a day. Who knows. This past week seems like it was a whole year with this pandemic.

Part One

Oh that’s the Master’s TARDIS, just so happened to masquerade as a police box.

The Doctor doesn’t do a great job of communicating with people.

HAHAHA! The machine code they use makes the TARDIS draw like I used to do on my Commodore 64.

15 minutes of this episode was dedicated to fixing a flat tire and measuring a police box.

Part Two

Aunt and copper dolls!

If the Doctor is going to put a creepy garden in his TARDIS, he should make it less creepy. Also, how many people do you think from the hundreds of years of the Doctor’s life is roaming around in the TARDIS that never met the Doctor and are just trapped.

We have the same mind!

Why do British people pronounce “omega” so strangely.

The Doctor has an ominous stalker. If I recall correctly, the Watcher never gets explained. Maybe if they didn’t spend 15 minutes on flat tires (or tyres) then we wouldn’t be here. Watching Doctor Who makes me think that maybe Stephen Moffat’s bad writing when he was head writer is just normal Doctor Who.

Now there’s someone named the Monitor. Doctor, Master, Monitor, Watcher.

I really don’t understand why it’s so urgent that the Doctor head to Logopolis to have his TARDIS reconfigured.

Also, why is the advanced technology of Logopolis computers from the ’80s?

Part Three

So the TARDIS shrinks. Adric panics as the Doctor is in there… why should that matter? The external dimensions are not linked to the internal dimensions.

I feel like the only thing Ainsley is doing in this episode is laughing at the camera.

If the TARDIS is shrunk, why is it shot with fisheye?

Poor Tegan, she has nothing to do to help.

Really Doctor, that’s how you tell Tegan that Auntie Vanessa died? You’re a prick.

Part Four: The Final Part

Aww, I miss the sound of dot matrix printers.

This is the funkiest Doctor Who music ever.

More Masterial laughter.

Tom Baker deserved a better finale. But hello Peter Davison!

Doctor Who Serial 114 – The Keeper of Traken

Part One

I started the episode, and then I got distracted by online grocery shopping. So that’s ten minutes of the episode without any commentary.

Cassia’s hair and eye shadow are on fleek, is that what the youngin’s say now… on fleek? I’m hip. It reminds me of Working Girl, which I watched last night.

“It looks almost alive,” says Adric as he approaches a stone like man who looks in no way alive.

I like the beards in this episode.

Oh shit, rock boy just vaporized the TARDIS.1

Damn, that’s bad timing for the Keeper to shout out “EVIL!” as soon as he see Doc and Adric.

Part Two

“I had no idea your science was this far advanced,” Adric says as he stares at CRT monitors and racks of equipment with blinking lights.

What the fuck was this:

Part Three

I love falling nets.

I like the guy with the moustache. He just seems so tired of everyone’s shit.

“Only the Doctor can destroy our plans,” duh.

Stone man made a TARDIS sound as it faded away.

OH MY THE STONE TARDIS IS BACK! THE STONE TARDIS IS THE KEEPER OF TRAKEN!

Part Four

Doctor, it’s the Master, obviously.

Also, I love ROCK TARDIS!

Oh shit, Shit master’s got the new master body captured!

  1. I went looking for a YouTube clip of “why not just waporize them?” from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. I couldn’t find it. Imagine it’s here. []