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Doctor Who Serial 100 – The Key To Time Parts 9-12: The Stones of Blood

Part One That’s nice, the Doctor admitted that Earth is his favourite planet. I like this old lady who can’t remember any dates. The crow looks evil because crows are evil. Not one of these people seems not evil. Part Two It’s a Time Lord sacrifice, not a Human sacrifice. Wow, that old lady can’t remember a single line of hers. Part Three That feather outfit is extraordinary as old lady said. The old lady’s acting reminds me of William Hartnell, aka, bad. Part Four I feel that Vivan’s outfit was designed just so someone could paint her boobs silver. Haha! The Doctor’s wig is brilliant.

Doctor Who Serial 099 – The Key To Time Parts 5-8: The Pirate Planet

Part One Oh! This is the first one written by Douglas Adams! This guy looks like Phil Spector. I like Romana stealing the Doctor’s jelly babies. These guards are worse shots than storm troopers. Part Two That robot falcon is amazing. That air car looks a lot like a landspeeder from Star Wars. I don’t think I’ve seen the sonic screwdriver in a while. What a bunch of wankers! Mining other planets while people are alive on it. Why do the stormtroopers shoot so high? Part Three :( K9 killed the falcon. Part Four YAR! Walk the plank ye doctor! I like the Doctor’s little projector. I love that it… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 099 – The Key To Time Parts 5-8: The Pirate Planet

Doctor Who Serial 098 – The Key To Time Parts 1-4: The Ribos Operation

I’m going to review each part of Key To Time as separate stories, because wikipedia’s story number is distinct for each part. What that means is when I get to season 23, The Trial Of A Time Lord, I will be doing it as a single post. So we are onto season sixteen1. More than halfway through Tom Baker’s run as the Doctor. And more than halfway through all the seasons of Doctor Who including the new show. New show is going to fly by, with only 13 episodes a season and large gaps between seasons. I say all that and we’re only on Doctor 4 out of 13. So…… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 098 – The Key To Time Parts 1-4: The Ribos Operation

Doctor Who Serial 097 – The Invasion of Time

Part One Leela, don’t be a jerk. Why is everyone a jerk to K9? The Doctor is rubbing off on you. Oh, the Doctor is taking his job as President. Part Two That seems dumb, trying to take Leela against her will. Oh Doctor! Don’t break the fourth wall. The Doctor is evil!!! E–VILLE Part Three The Doctor seems to be as reliable of a president as Donald Trump. That pink and pink outfit is amazing. How are Time Lords so absolutely useless. No idea how to survive outside for a few days. I’m not saying I’m a wilderness master, but I think I could figure out shelter, food and… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 097 – The Invasion of Time

Doctor Who Serial 096 – Underworld

Part One Doctor, don’t tell your friends to shut up. You can be such an asshole. “Time ships of the Gods!” I like their mellow gun. I want a gun you can shoot at someone and it’s as if they took a deep toke.1 These people have regenerated a thousand times. That’s pretty cool. So why do the Time Lords have a limit on regeneration? “He’s my second best friend, aren’t you, K9?” “Affirmative.” I don’t like dogs, I’m a cat person, but I would totally take a K9. Leela being angry about getting stoned against her will is fucking hilarious. But also consent is important. Unrelated, my house smells… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 096 – Underworld

Doctor Who Serial 095 – The Sun Makers

Part One Pluto, the distant future. The planet has been terraformed and is now orbited by artificial suns, provided by the rapacious company who ruthlessly exploit the relocated human workforce. The Doctor, Leela, and K9 arrive and befriend a luckless drone worker, but they must flee with him to the dark undercity… Umm, actually, Pluto isn’t a planet. This episode seems to be an anti-tax creed. I was about to comment on the Doctor’s comment on machine minds being feeble, but then K9 proved him wrong. Hooray for K9. The rooftop scene where the Doctor and Leela save the over-taxed dude from suicide is hilarious and wonderful. Oh, he called… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 095 – The Sun Makers

Doctor Who Serial 094 – Image of the Fendahl

Part One These scientists have obviously never heard of time travel. That skull could have belonged to a time traveller. Oooo-wee-oooo Well that is why K9 isn’t in this episode. The Doctor broke him. Leela’s wearing the most boob-a-licious dress I’ve seen in a while. How come the Doctor never wears such a low cut top. I think Tom Baker could’ve pulled it off. There’s something so lovely about Tom Baker’s voice. Part Two How are there so many people in the Whoniverse who can convince other people not to call the cops? Part Three The skull is hypnotizing the Doctor, take your hand off of it. Part Four I… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 094 – Image of the Fendahl

Doctor Who Serial 093 – The Invisible Enemy

Part One That’s the weirdest design for the bridge of a shuttle craft. Also, are they in la-z-boys? Oh, the Doctor switched back to the main control room. That’s nice. Except he’s calling it the “number two control room.” I disagree. C’mon! Have a drink before you shoot people. That’s the least you could do. Damn, Leela, that hat looks good on you. That knife looked like rubber. I needed a “BOING” sound effect. Part Two I forgot that K9 shows up at some point in this story. I can’t wait for that. Also, really digging this soundtrack while the Doctor is in hospital. That receptionist is so rude. “Computer… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 093 – The Invisible Enemy

Doctor Who Serial 092 – Horror of Fang Rock

Part One Yar! There be a fog coming up! Excellent hat, Doctor. Once again, The Doctor is accused of murdering a character. It seems pretty cliché, but worse that they did it two stories in a row. They could have prevented that. Part Two Doctor Who characters need to learn to believe the eyes of other characters in Doctor Who. Part Three The gentleman from the upper chamber is an asshole. I like the man from the Commons. Then again, the Doctor himself is a bit of an asshole. Leela’s callousness is fantastic! Part Four He’s dead, Jim. Oh, we’re seeing Rutans for the first time. They don’t seem to… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 092 – Horror of Fang Rock

Doctor Who Serial 091 – The Talons of Weng-Chiang

Part One Let’s start with racism. Holy shit. All the supporting Chinese characters are played by Chinese actors, but the main one is played by John Bennett, the whitest British actor you can imagine. I am tempted to just skip this episode, but it is considered to be one of the best. From now on we will be referring to Weng-Chiang as Racist Depiction of Asian Person. That woman plays an impeccable witch. “Carrying a body, a European body,” at least they’re right about cops being racist. Rat hair, long rat hair, that seems improbable, but apparently Racist Depiction of Asian Person is the “god of abundance” and can “make… Read More »Doctor Who Serial 091 – The Talons of Weng-Chiang