An apology to Helen

First I’m going to start with an apology to Helen. When it was suggest that four of us share two beds in a single hotel room, I had a bit of a sense of dread, but I bottled it up, because “WOO! OTTAWA ROAD TRIP!” Now here I am, 3:30 am on Sunday morning. I only got an hour or two of sleep the previous night, if that. This night, I was smart enough to stay in when Emily, Joseph and Helen went to meet a friend of Helen’s. I spent most of that time editing the video (except for the footage that has yet to be shot) that will hopefully be posted on Thursday. However, I did get an hour sleep before the rest of #ORT2012 crew arrived back at the hotel. The problem was I wasn’t sleepy and having a minor panic attack. My heart had been racing, since driving back to Ottawa from Quebec (and CFB Carp) in horrible weather with no street lights. When I finally got some sleep that was nice.

Since they’ve been back, I’ve been able to get 15 minutes here and there, but I’ve been in and out of bed so often, that I’m feeling really sorry for Helen. To the point that I’m now lying on the floor, playing with my laptop with the screen dimmed to the lowest level (which is very bright in otherwise pitch black).

I really don’t know what possessed me to think that I’d be able to share a bed with someone (especially a double, when I sleep alone, diagonally on a Queen1). There’s only been one person who I’ve really successfully slept with2 since Lisa and I split up all those years ago, and I loved her, even though I didn’t want to admit to myself that I loved her, yet. So it was either that, or the fact that she was (and still is) so fucking skinny, that the first time she spent the night in my bed, I woke up and thought she had left. So I have to apologize to Helen, for her lack of sleep. I’ll take the blame, and I’m so very sorry. Here’s hoping I have enough wherewithal to get us back to Toronto safely3. Don’t worry mom, I won’t do anything dangerous, I know my limits, and will work within those.

This was going to end with #ORT2012 playlist 2, but after this long post… I’ll save that for Friday. Next time on NH2F… Cosby Sweater of the Week.

Edited to add: At around 6am, I went back to bed, and three hours of fitful sleep. Not ideal, but enough to make me feel much better.

  1. Insert joke here. []
  2. and I mean actual sleeping. []
  3. Right now I’m so bloody awake, that I could probably drive to Vancouver without a problem []

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