Doctor Who Serial 084 – The Brain of Morbius

June 14, 2019 11:31 am , Leave a Comment ,

Part One

Is that thing half Klingon, half Gorn?

That unibrow is epic.

Hmm, Dr. Frankenstein is looking for a warm-blooded humanoid. AND THE DOCTOR SHOWS UP!

Oh jeez! We’re being introduced to the Sisterhood of Karn for the first time.

Much like the Doctor, I like when people compliment my head.

So I gathered from other Karn episodes that the Sisterhood didn’t like the Time Lords, but didn’t realize they were enemies.

So Morbius is a fellow Time Lord, and is bitter and wants a new body.

Part Two

“You chicken-brained biological disaster,” what kind of asshole says that to their staff?

The Doctor knows that Morbius is alive and that the flame of life is dying. The sisterhood wants to sacrifice the Doctor, but he only wants to help.

Sneaky costumed Sarah, freeing the Doctor!

Igor is rising up against Dr. Frankenstein.

Why does Morbius sound like a Dalek?

Wow, Morbo, calm down. It’s just Sarah, she doesn’t want to destroy you.

Part Three

Morbo’s vocals look like the bitchy trampoline from Christopher Eccleston’s second episode.

Frankenstein, don’t talk about your traps when you know that Sarah is there. Oh, dum dums.

That net falling from the top of the cave was amazing. Bravo Doctor Who.

The Doctor fixed the fireplace for the sisterhood. Maybe one day they will repay him and help turn him into John Hurt.

Frankenstein has given up on using the Doctor’s head, and is going to, instead, put him in a plastic ball.

Uh oh! Igor is fighting back, again… and got shot! Igor spilled Morbo’s brains onto the floor.

Why hasn’t he shouted, “IT’S ALIVE!”?

Part Four

Wow, Morbo is going on a rampage. He attacked Frankenstein. NO! Now Morbo is after Igor! Igor is dead. I don’t like Morbo. This makes me sad.

Somehow Dr. Frankenstein didn’t die, but he’s on the hunt for Morbo.

If you’re making the villain destroy his evil creation, Doctor, you don’t leave the operating room and just assume he will do it. Surprise, surprise, he’s fixing Morbo.

Mind wrestling! This is stupid. But the Doctor won! I guess don’t mind-wrestle if your brain was recently dropped on the floor.

The Doctor survived thanks to the Elixir of Life.

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Doctor Who Serial 083 – The Android Invasion

June 10, 2019 12:08 pm , Leave a Comment ,

Part One

Wow, Corporal Android needs a lot of work. His movement isn’t very fluid.

That’s certainly a new definition of “finger guns.” Guys in while coveralls with big helmets have no fingertips and shoot out of what should be a fingertip.

Hahaha, that was a best companion scream I’ve ever heard, and there are so many companion screams.

Corporal Android is really stumblin’ and he just fell off the cliff. I really hope this leads to a Paul McCartney cameo with a tiny harmonica.

Corporal Android is back, but with a crew of finger guns. He brought a truck full of androids looking like the locals.

Oh my! The Finger guns have no faces, just machinery!!!!

Sarah! Don’t leave the key in the TARDIS! And it disappeared, she thinks that the Doctor abandoned her.

And now the Doctor’s been captured by the Finger Guns.

Sarah goes to rescue the Doctor, but is being spied upon by creepy looking dude. Could be a Sontaran, but who knows, Doctor Who makeup is terrible.

Part Two

So an astronaut died in space. Now he’s on Earth ordering the androids around. One of the androids is Sgt. Benton.

Twisted ankle alert! Twisted ankle alert!

Sarah, don’t jump out of a tree with a messed up ankle. This might be the first time in Doctor Who history that a companion’s twisted ankle had any effect for more than 30 seconds.

“COMMENCE THE ANALYSIS OF THE BRAIN!”

Are these aliens prototype Ferengi?

Sarah’s an android!!!

Part Three

The tussle between the Doctor and Sarah is one of the funniest moments in Doctor Who history.

My cat is sitting on the remote control and he doesn’t love Doctor Who it seems. I’ve now wrestled it back.

“Resistance is inadvisable.” Star Trek really took their terrible writing and punched it up quite a bit.

So an astronaut was bitter that he died in space, so he sold out humanity to the first aliens who came along? I don’t buy this. If you go up in space, you know there’s a chance you’ll die and there’s nothing anyone can do, because you’re so far away.

Oh no! The G-Force is so high! Sarah, how will you survive?

Part Four

She’s okay! It’s alright. No one panic.

I just got halfway through the episode and realized I wasn’t paying attention and I had no idea how the Doctor got back to Earth. I just rewound back to the beginning.

Astronaut’s ship is coming down to Earth. Sgt. Benton is confused by the Doctor leaving his key in the TARDIS. I’m writing down plot so I have to pay attention. Astronaut’s ship loses contact, and meteorites are coming to Earth, but we know that they are actually androids. They’ve landed! And this pod has the Doctor, not an android!

Well, now I know how he got back to Earth. He’s lost his Sarah! Poor Doctor.

Oh! They now have visual contact with the astronaut. No one is wondering where he got an eyepatch on his mission.

Now Sarah’s on earth, and she found the TARDIS. And the Doctor found her, BUT IT’S A ROBIT DOCTOR!

Astronaut has landed.

The Doctor is revealing the plot to the military. And the boss is hilarious.

These androids really need to recalibrate their aim.

Okay, this story is getting good and it’s getting silly in all the best ways.

Brilliant! This guy has been wearing an eye patch the whole time thinking he lost an eye, but he’s just been brainwashed.

The Doctor has no frozen the ‘droids, and Sarah’s working at freeing some of the humans.

FIGHT! FIG–oh, that was over pretty quickly.

Have I mentioned that this is the best TV show of all time?1

  1. It’s not, but damn, sometimes it’s so much fun. [↩]
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Doctor Who Serial 082 – Pyramids of Mars

June 8, 2019 8:21 am , Leave a Comment ,

Part One

“Superstitious savage!” proclaims an arrogant British archeologist as his Egyptian guides run away. What a terrible, yet predictable way, to start a Doctor Who episode.

The TARDIS goes off course on its way back to UNIT, it ends up in the right building, but wrong time, 1911. In this house are Egyptian artifacts, chief amongst them a sarcophagus which is also a space-time portal.

Part Two

The Egyptian is dead, and Sutekh, an alien who pretended to be an Egyptian god, has his people trying to get him. This sounds a bit like Stargate.

I think we need to talk about the mummies. Why do they have such giant chests? Why are they covered in 10 feet of foam? I bet they’d be good to cuddle. Why do they have a bicycle tail light on their back?

Sutekh is controlling operations on Earth via “mental force.” Why is there so much psychic stuff in Doctor Who?

“Egyptian mummies building rockets?” That is ridiculous.

That guy just got a double-sided motorboating from a pair of mummies.

Apparently the Raptors are winning. Go local sport team.

Part Three

Wow, Doctor, there’s no compassion there. You should be able to understand why someone doesn’t want to hurt their brother, even if his re-animated corpse is controlled by the baddy. 

The Doctor’s relationship with Sarah is probably the best part of this story. She’s really fantastic at bringing out the best in him. And I think Elisabeth Sladen is the same to Tom Baker. 

Part Four

Sutekh captures the Doctor and forces him to use his TARDIS to free Sutekh.

Sutekh kills the Doctor, but the Doctor survives.

They’re now in a maze, and I honeslty feel they are just doing this to kill time. Maybe I’m just too used to the Good Place and it’s super tight storytelling to enjoy this super-long stories in classic Doctor Who.

Hahaha, okay that was brilliant. The Mummy Droid turning around just as Sarah and the Doctor turn the corner and they turn around and hide in one quick move.

Uh oh! Sarah is trapped in a plastic tube! Why does every cheesy sci-fi show do a terrible episode with a maze filled with riddles designed for a 12 year old?

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Doctor Who Serial 081 – Planet of Evil

May 25, 2019 9:42 am , Leave a Comment ,

Part One

This might be the best soundstage design I’ve seen on Doctor Who. There’s a mission on this soundstage. The crew are being picked up one by one by an invisible force that makes its victims vanish.

Sarah and the Doctor show up, and of course, they are assumed to be the perpetrators. They are captured and threatened with torture. Sarah and the Doctor escape only to find the invisible monster… who is slightly visible now?

Part Two

The Doctor and Sarah are on the run, they see another person die. They get captured. We find out that the scientist has discovered that plundering this planet will get humans all the energy they need. The Doctor and Sarah are recaptured, as they always do. The Doctor is convinced they crossed from one universe to another and this planet is the gateway to the anti-matter universe. He has to convince them that removing any of the anti-matter from the planet will lead to pure doom.

Many things to note. Sarah’s mom jeans are not doing her a good job, but that denim vest, yowzah! Maybe it’s the Canadian in me. The Doctor is not giving any reason for the humans to trust him. The scene of Sarah trailing behind the Doctor holding on to his scarf is classic. The flying saucer surveillance drone with a human eye is horrible.

Part Three

Wow these people seem to have accepted a portal between universes quickly enough, if only as a way to accept the Doctor’s death. But he’s not dead, just passing through a portal.

Sarah rescues the Doctor. The spaceship holds off on launching and goes to rescue them. And the scientist becomes evil… I assume red eyes mean he’s evil.

Now the crew of the ship are on the side of the the Doctor and “the girl” when the scientist tries to blame them. And now the scientist got the crew on his side. These people flip faster than a thing that flips quickly.

This episode is ridiculous.

Part Four

Okay, now they know for sure that the Doctor and Sarah are not responsible for the deaths, as there was another one while they were waiting their execution.

Turns out the scientist is infected by anti-quarks. Well, that explains why he’s now evil.

I have no idea what’s happening now. The scientist is split in multiple pieces, some are invisible, one looks like a caveman? The Doctor took the caveman away in the TARDIS? This makes no fucking sense? How high were the writers?

I’m going to take a brief Doctor Who break. I don’t know for how long. I’m thinking just a couple of weeks, but who knows, it could turn into years.

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Doctor Who Serial 080 – Terror of the Zygons

May 18, 2019 8:30 am , Leave a Comment ,

A bit of housekeeping. I’m not liking how these are turning out so much. Instead of writing them after I’ve finished watching the serial, I’m going to write a bit after each part, but keep it in one blog post per serial. I do want to put screencaps back in, but how I’m watching has changed, and it’s not very good for that. I used to pop the DVD into my computer, watch in VLC and used the command key combination to take a screencap. Now I’ve digitized my DVDs and store them in Plex, so I’m watching through Plex Media Player on my computer or the app on my Apple TV. So there’s no quick and easy way to grab a screencap.

Now that that’s out of the way… Let’s begin lucky season 13. The Zygons are here! They were in the 50th Anniversary episode, which is what made me start this project, so this might be a romp. This is their debut in Doctor Who.

Part One

Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart calls the Doctor back to the UK. Oil rigs in Scotland are being destroyed with no survivors. The Doctor downplays Brig’s concerns, but agrees to investigate.

Harry finds a man on the beach who warns him, but is shot at by a sniper. Harry gets grazed by a bullet. Is this why Harry leaves? Does he get spooked by being shot at and decides not to continue travelling with the Doctor?

Oooh! Creepy nurse lady is taking care of Harry. She’s super-creepy. Since I know Zygons are shape-shifters, I’m going to guess that she’s a Zygon! The cliffhanger was great, a Zygon is attacking Sarah. What I love most about it is that the Zygon looks absolutely horrible.

Part Two

What of the Zygons? Terror? Terror indeed. Terror of the terrible makeup. Terror of the makeup artists who can’t even be bothered to glue the latex mask to the actor’s face. Terror of boredom? Terror indeed.

Part Three

That dinosaur is quality SFX. Doctor Who is shelling out the big bucks! That was sarcasm. I called it! The nurse was a Zygon! Her morph from nurse to Zygon was perhaps even better than the dinosaur, which we’ve now found out is Nessy, the Lochness Monster.

So, let me get this straight. The Zygon have been living in Lochness for hundreds of years. They occasionally send the cybernetic Nessy out for a stroll. Now with some oil drilling, they’re getting upset, so they’re using Nessy to attack the platforms and kill all the oil staff? That’s… ridiculous.

Sarah found a secret door in the Duke of Forgill’s library. I’m guessing it’s going to lead to the Zygon base. I’m right! I’m brilliant! “The girl1 must be found and destroyed.” Oh, she found Harry Sullivan. Wasn’t sure it was really him, but he called her an “old girl,” so it must be him.2 The Zygon’s captured The Doctor! The Brig is firing artillery at their underwater ship. The Zygons are taking off… doesn’t the Duke care, they’re going to flood his house!

Wait. Them leaving is the cliffhanger? That’s not a steep cliff.

Part Four

Oh, I guess the cliffhanger is that The Doctor is on the ship. Okay, this is the first time I’m thinking that Harry is an idiot. Sarah is clueing things together, and he just brushes it off and convinces her to leave their investigation. Why do all Doctor Who aliens whisper everything and talk very slowly?

Oh, so the Zygons are refugees and wish to terraform Earth to resemble Zygonia or whatever they call their planet.

Oh no! The Doctor is dead! I bet he’s not dead. Yup, he was just playing dead, oh silly Doctor.

So the Doctor frees the Human captives, and blows up the ship, but doesn’t care about them being refugees?

  1. She’s a woman. [↩]
  2. Facepalm [↩]
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Doctor Who Serial 079 – Revenge of the Cybermen

May 12, 2019 10:17 am , Leave a Comment ,

Why is the Doctor so mean to Harry? Shouting out that Harry Sullivan is an idiot, while funny, was cruel. I honestly didn’t think anything Harry did was worth of that outcry. Harry was only trying to help, even if he got into some more danger than expected.

Any way, “Revenge of the Cybermen” wasn’t great. It really shouldn’t have ended the season. The plot was messy and disjointed.

1 Tom Baker season down, 6 to go.

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Doctor Who Serial 078 – Genesis of the Daleks

May 9, 2019 10:21 am , Leave a Comment ,

This might be the best Doctor Who serial yet.

The Doctor is sent to Skaro by the Time Lords. His mission is to stop the development of the Daleks. The Thals and the Kaleds have been warring for thousands of years. The Kaleds are led by their chief scientist, Davros. Seeing that the Kaleds were changing into mutants needed a mobility device. He plans to use this mobility device to be a weapon of mass-destruction, and with genetic modification, remove all emotions from the Kaleds except hate. They will be the ultimate killing machine… THE DALEKS!

The episode was rivotting. It was fun. It was everything television should be, and that Doctor Who so rarely is. This is why I’m doing this!

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MySpace

April 28, 2019 5:21 pm , Leave a Comment ,

A friend of mine pointed me to a podcast that was doing an episode about MySpace pages. She wanted me to submit to them about my MySpace. They never contacted me, so I thought I’d post it here.

I was never a fan of MySpace, and I refused to have a MySpace page for the longest time. I enjoy good design and MySpace was the opposite of that.

That all changed one day when I was out record shopping and found a 7″ record from Canada’s 1979 federal election.

To give you some context, Pierre Trudeau had been prime minister since 1968. Joe Clark was the leader of the now-defunct Progressive Conservative Party of Canada and leader of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition (basically, the largest party in Parliament who is not forming government).

Clark would go on to win the 1979 election, and only a few months later lose the confidence of the House of Commons, thus causing a snap election, which Pierre Trudeau and the Liberals would go on to win.

During the 1979 election, the PCs had a campaign song called “Let’s Get Canada Working Again” which was printed on 7″ vinyl for some odd reason.

Link on Google Drive

I found this record in my local record shop and as a huge history nerd was excited. I took it home, listened to it, laughed at how bad it was and decided now was my time to enter MySpace.

I created a MySpace account for a new band. I called them… Joe Clark and the Progressive Conservatives. Sure, not the most exciting band name, but it worked. It asked for names of the band members, so I put in all of Clark’s cabinet ministers. I’m sure we can all imagine that Flora MacDonald was obviously shredding on guitar.

I uploaded the songs.

I didn’t tell anyone I knew that I had created this account. But I decided I needed to have my top 8 friends. So who did I choose? Well obviously bands I knew and loved. It had to be Canadian bands. I think I put in Neil Young, Sloan, Leonard Cohen, and some indie bands like The Meligrove Band. I never knew if anyone actually found the page.

Fast forward to 2018, The Meligrove Band were about to release their best record onto vinyl for the first time. They decided to do a reunion/farewell show that they had never done. Toronto’s free weekly, Now Magazine, did a piece on them. 

Link to Now Magazine piece

Once we got added by a band called Joe Clark and the Progressive Conservatives. I went to their profile and it was just the music player full of the actual jingles from Joe Clark’s winning 1979 election campaign. I figured it was a young prankster from either the CBC archives or a fictional Tory youth group. Either way, those songs were awful.

I guess someone did find the page.

Posted in: Music

Doctor Who Serial 077 – The Sontaran Experiment

April 25, 2019 9:06 pm , Leave a Comment ,

I kinda wish all of classic Doctor Who was only two episode stories. It would be slightly more tedious as I would’ve had to write considerably more entries in this blog series that I currently have. But also, Doctor Who had a LOT of filler.

“The Sontaran Experiment” didn’t have a lot of filler, the story was decent and it was nice seeing Sarah have such a big role. She knew who The Sontarans were, as she had encountered them in her first story.

The cast beam down to Earth to scout out the situations out there. In case the Earth is a nightmare of radiation and lava and acid rain, The Doctor makes sure to bring a hat, Sarah puts on a plastic raincoat and Harry puts on some wellies. You know, sensible precautions.

They find some astronauts who crash landed on Earth responding to an emergency broadcast. They are being picked off one by one. Turns out a Sontaran is on Earth as a scout before an invasion fleet. He’s doing experiments on the astronauts.

Eventually The Doctor goes mano-a-mano with the Sontaran and wins. The heroes beam back up to the Ark in Space!

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Doctor Who Serial 076 – The Ark in Space

April 24, 2019 6:52 pm , Leave a Comment ,

This was another fun romp! I quite enjoyed it. The Doctor his in true form, he’s already got his Jelly Babies ready to roll. Sarah is being a spunky feminist. Harry is condescending, but he’s okay.

They find an ark in space… a sleeper ship… the SS Botany Bay. They wake up some of the crew, and fortunately none of them are Khan Noonien Singh. Instead they’re weirdly British and bureaucratic. I guess that’s par for the course on The Adventures of Time Travelling Colonial Imperialist.

Turns out while they’ve been frozen, some bugs from Andromeda were taking over the sleeper ship and feeding on freeze-dried human.

Turns out these bugs were actually dislocated by the colonial humans and are just looking for a new home.

The strangest part of this episode is that The Doctor is just okay with letting these bugs die.

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