Tag Archives: River Song

Doctor Who Story 263 – The Husbands of River Song

Really? Humans are still celebrating Christmas in the 54th century? I hate Doctor Who some times.

Also, hi Nardol!

The Doctor being playful to River is fun.

River Song is married to the Taskmaster?

I miss Taskmaster, maybe season 12 will be soon.

Her new husband is cute.

The Doctor being shocked by the TARDIS is so great.

Close the door behind you.

Aww, it’s David Tennant’s sonic screwdriver. :(

Doctor Who Story 239 – The Name of the Doctor

Clarence and the Whipsermen

The accent of the chained guy sounds like the stupid accent that Noel Fielding does in the Mighty Boosh.

The Name of the Doctor

Oh, I forgot that this is how it started… the Doctor stealing the TARDIS! That’s a fun little start. Too bad Clara’s story is really stupid, and she’s in all his life.

Oh, here’s Clarence.

I do love Strax the more we see him.

Why would him having travelled through time make his grave dangerous.

So far, this episode is just “we have to go somewhere.” Yet there’s no reason given why they have to go there. It’s just walking around. With no goal.

I feel like Moffat just wanted the past 2 seasons’ story to be this just so he could have people shouting “Doctor who??????” over and over again.

“It will burn you up! Once you go through, you can’t come back. You will be scattered along my timeline like confetti!”

The Doctor to The Great Intelligence

And yet, Clara can go and jump in and it’s fine? She can get out? They leave the cliffhanger as if that’s the big question, but then they just ignore it when they get to the 50th anniversary special.

It’s like my mum said, “The soufflé isn’t the soufflé. The soufflé is the recipe.” It’s the only way to save him, isn’t it?

Clara to River Song

What stupid bullshit is that?

None of this resolution makes any fucking sense. I say that knowing that they don’t actually resolve anything, leave it on a cliffhanger and just ignore it. Suddenly Clara’s a teacher, but that’s for another episode.

Hahaha, that guy in the William Hartnell wig looked so bad.

The ending with John Hurt is great, but maybe show how something wins. If you’re going to make getting out of the Doctor’s time stream possible, don’t sell it as something that rips you up like confetti. Put in peril, but don’t just wave it away because it wasn’t convenient. This is everything that is wrong with Moffat’s time as showrunner, and I think the show is worse because of his time in that role.

Doctor Who Story 230 – The Angels Take Manhattan

More voiceovers.

They keep on saying Amy and Rory are older, but they don’t show it. They look exactly the same.

Is that the guy from Whose Line Is It Anyway and Office Space? Yes, yes it is. Mike McShane.

I hate everything about this episode. I miss Amy and Rory.

Doctor Who Story 224 – The Wedding of River Song

Death Is The Only Answer

This is terrible, but it was written by children, so that makes sense.


Oh god, the stupid nursery rhyme.

The Wedding of River Song

I want a balloon attached to my car.

Moffat’s trying to be clever and over-complicated, and while this makes some sense, it’s put together so poorly.

Aww, the Brigadier passed away.

I don’t care about this alternative timeline. Why are they focusing so much on this? This is really why Moffat is bad.

Why are they getting married? This isn’t necessary to get out of their predicament. Also, why is he going through all of this, he had a plan, this could have been solved in 5 minutes. It was a terrible episode.

Doctor Who Story 223 – Closing Time

I watched this one late last night when I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t bring my laptop, so I didn’t write notes.

So the obvious thing to do is to compare “Closing Time” with “The Lodger.” What’s the Lodger? It was the other episode with James Corden.

Both episodes had a mediocre story. Both episodes are Amy/Rory-light episodes. Both episodes are silly. The problem though is that while “The Lodger” has a rough idea of a story, it doesn’t focus on it, the episode is really about the relationship between Craig (James Corden) and the Doctor (Matt Smith, do I need to write that?). “Closing Time” is very plot focused, plus it adds a screaming baby.

Screaming babies should be banned from television (and the world).

While there are some really cute moments in the story–Alfie calling himself Stormageddon, the Doctor’s love of his name tag, companion vs partner–so much time is spent focusing on the Cybermen, and we never really care. I’m more interested in why Amy is a model now. Also the fact that it’s been about 200 years since we last saw the Doctor in the previous episode, and why? What is gained by that 200 year jump. His circumstances have no changed and it’s only because a they established those 200 years in “The Impossible Astronaut.”

Overall, it was a sequel that didn’t need to exist.

Doctor Who Story 219 – Let’s Kill Hitler


So is the Doctor ever going to tell her that she’s going to never be a mom to River?

Let’s Kill Hitler

It’s so creepy that Mels has idolized the Doctor long before she married him.

Their security system is terrible.

Oh River.

I like the Doctor’s love of young Amelia Pond.

Doctor Who monsters need to stop announcing their intention to kill.

Doctor Who Story 218 – A Good Man Goes to War


They’re imprisoning a child?

A Good Man Goes To War

Let’s talk about the title of this episode. Do they actually think he’s a good man? He isn’t.

They’re trying to make Rory a bad ass, but he ain’t a bad ass. Even as “the last centurion.”

I like Alex Kingston.

Moffat has this bad habit of half-introducing something and thinking it’s good enough. And he does it so much in this episode.

Oh, okay, they acknowledge that he is not a good man. That’s more self-awareness than I expect from Moffat.

Get in the fucking TARDIS, Amy and Melody.

Doctor Who Story 214 – The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon


That’s really gross that the entire purpose of this skit for a children’s show is to talk about Amy’s genitalia. What is wrong with Moffat?


Part two is less creepy and gross, but still creepy and gross.


Nixon’s an asshat, but this guy doesn’t sound like Nixon.

The Impossible Astronaut

Aww, it’s in memory of Elisabeth Sladen.

I don’t get why Amy and Rory are suddenly living in England and not traveling with the Doctor.

Nice that Arthur Darvill gets into the opening titles.

So the Doctor is traveling for 200 years without Amy and Rory, and then he comes back for them? That seems so unlike the character. He runs, he doesn’t return. He hates being alone, alone for 200 years?

So they keep on saying stuff like this shit. Like the Doctor is going to die, all of Tenant’s companions are going to die. It’s really annoying and I wish they would stop this bullshit.

The joke about Americans being gun happy is great.

Also, the Silence make no sense, and they never did, I feel like Moffat had an idea and then forgot what it was supposed to be.

Amy’s preggers! Mazel tov!

Day of the Moon

Amy Pond killed her daughter.

I don’t like that this episode doesn’t start where it left off.

Neil Armstrong, walking on me face.

The Silence really don’t work. It is a good idea, but the execution is a shit show.

I like awkward Rory.

I really don’t like that. The reason humans went to the moon was because the Silence needed a spacesuit? No, humans went to the moon because we have a desire to explore.

Doctor Who Story 212 – The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang

The Pandorica Opens

River! Yay! Didn’t think I’ve see Liz X again.

I like River as Cleopatra.

Yar, there be Cybermen!

It’s Rory! Because obviously it is, because Doctor Who can’t keep anyone dead.

Their deus ex machina of Rory’s appearance is horrible and lazy. But I’m glad he’s back.

Amy’s happy to see her dead fiancé, who she forgot about.

Why doesn’t River know who Rory is? It’s her dad, she set them up as Mel.

The Big Bang

Oh it’s wee Amelia Pond!

Oh, the Doctor’s wearing a fez.

I forgot Amy was dead, and I only watched part one a few hours ago.

Rory waiting 2000 years with Amy in a box is ridiculous.

This is a fun romp, even if the story is terrible.

The Dalek begging for mercy is great.

Big ole’ reset button! That’s some great writing there, Moffat.

Awww, Amy and Rory’s daughter is at their wedding.

Mr. Pond!

Dancing floppy Doctor is the best.

Doctor Who Story 206 – The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone

The Time of Angels

River’s great.

Sulky Doctor because River is better than him is great.

I forgot how great this episode was because I was focused on how bad the story is.

See, and the video clip moving is dumb, but the interactions between the Doctor and Amy, River and the Doctor, Amy and River are all so good.

The Doctor is on Virginia Woolf’s bowling team? Hmm, she died in 1941, a lot later than I would have thought.

Amy’s hand turning to stone. Is that a reference to the Pompeii episode she was in?

The best part of this story is truly the relationship of those three characters. I love it so much.

Flesh and Stone

The forrest is fun. I want a tree-borg.

Did Alex Kingston know that Amy is River’s mum, yet? Did Moffatt?

The Doctor is such an idiot, and I love it.