Author Archives: Adam M. Anklewicz

Doctor Who Story 196 – Midnight

I don’t think I’ve seen this episode more than once. I hated it as a kid.

Oh, it’s Scott from Scott & Bailey.

Doctor, you held up that cup way too high for that much shorter woman to toast you with.

This is so bad. Yikes.

According to Wikipedia, “Russell T Davies has stated that the episode was inspired by the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode ‘Darmok’.” Dude, you failed.

Doctor Who Story 195 – Silence in the Library & Forest of the Dead

Silence in the Library

Woo! It’s time for Amy’s daughter… yeah, I spoiled that for you, you’re gonna just have to deal with that.

I forgot about the little kid and her therapist.

Ahh, the start of “spoilers,” something I never loved.

Oh yeah, River sent the Doctor a message.

River Song’s first line is “Hello sweetie.”

“Oh, I’m pretty boy?”

This concept of two loves who time travel and one has never met the other before is heart-wrenching.

I would have loved if there were more episodes with River and David Tennant.

Donna’s howls of pains are horrible.

The ghosting is creepy, but not as creepy as Donna makes it.

Forest of the Dead

I don’t love the story of Donna in the moon. I kinda wish they did that differently.

Squabbling like an old married couple.

No, your Doctor is Matt Smith.

That was quite the sucker punch.

Donna’s loss, the Doctor’s loss. This is a sad episode.

Doctor Who Story 194 – The Unicorn and the Wasp

Ahh, the 1920s, everyone partying because they just went through a terrible war and pandemic. Here’s hoping the 2020s become fun, too.

The Doctor and Donna should not have been the first ones to show up if they’re going to sneak in.

Professor Peach is in the library.

This is a ridiculous episode.

Charades with Donna is fantastic.

Doctor Who Story 193 – The Doctor’s Daughter

That hand’s gonna be a plot point.

Don’t call your husband “dad.” Even when your dad is the Doctor and your husband is the Doctor.

Martha’s become badass.

Oh, the cliché backflipping through the lasers.

And now quicksand?

I wonder if anyone will ever bring back Jenny.

Doctor Who Serial 192 – The Sontaran Stratagem & The Poison Sky

The Sontaran Stratagem

Were people really this scared of GPS?

Martha! Hopefully this isn’t as bad as her Torchwood episodes.

They’re doing a very old-school Doctor Who trope. Showing just a hand or the back of a head staring at a screen.

Sontarans are ridiculous.

Okay, this is the fourth episode of the season, and they’re already doing flashbacks?

This is a very kids’ show episode.

It’s like original Star Trek with the computers who are defeated with logic.

The teenage “genius” looks like that guy.

Cliffhanger!

The Poison Sky

Thank you, Donna’s mom! That was an easy solution. Though that is not how windshields break, ad it would probably have bounced if she didn’t concentrate the hit with a corner of the axe.

Oh shit, Martha clone’s being nefarious.

I’m really glad that when Russell Davies leaves, Doctor Who stopped relying so much on news broadcasts.

I hate the close ups of the newcasters’ lips.

The “Are you my mummy?” was wonderful!

Okay, taking Martha without her consent, not cool, TARDIS.

Doctor Who Serial 191 – Planet of the Ood

Ood revolt!

This is a bad episode.

They’re trying very hard to make a point, and they make it, I feel for the Ood, but it’s still a terrible episode.

Doctor Who Story 190 – The Fires of Pompeii

Ancient Rome… not the first time the Doctor’s been there. I like that they just addressed that. I also like that Amy Pond is watching the Doctor and wondering why he isn’t Matt Smith. Or at least that’s what I assume she’s thinking about.

They’re missing a couple of names from the opening credits. Karen Gillan and Peter Capaldi. I am so looking forward to Amy’s time on Doctor Who, it might be my favourite.

Yay! There’s Capaldi! I wonder if he’s actually the Doctor, and spent some time in Pompeii for fun and was looking forward to his arrival and wanted to buy is old TARDIS.

Good job Donna, standing up to the Doctor.

I like that their walkie talkie is just their hands over their eyes.

I wanna be a Chief Auger. Sounds like a good title.

I’m enjoying this even more.

Amy, don’t steal Donna!

I love how indignant Donna is.

This episode is so stupid, but yet so enjoyable.

Doctor, save your future self.

Peter Capaldi birthing the word “volcano” was completely unnecessary and didn’t work.

The Doctor really does need a companion, and he definitely doesn’t need to spend so much time vetting his companions like he did for Martha.

Doctor Who Serial 189 – Partners in Crime

Donna, don’t use your real name. Look at the Doctor, he’s using John Smith.

Who on earth would be dumb enough to print an entire customer database without your boss’s approval. Now as for sales calls, why are they? They’re selling a miracle diet pill. It will sell like crazy, and just sell it online. Also, why is it so small? that was like four sheets of paper, and Donna took both hers and the Doctors, so their client list fits on two sheets of A4.

How does Adipose Industries have authorization for to have a siren on their vehicle?

The Adipose are adorable.

You can tell that drivers in this shared universe have never driven in snow. In Torchwood they lock the wheels when stopping. In this they spin out.

Donna’s mom is terrible. BUT NOW IT’S TIME FOR WILFRED! One of the best companions for Tennant.

Tell your grandfather, Donna!

I love how oblivious Donna is.

The miming scene between Donna and the Doctor is the greatest.

They fill the door with bullets, but when they push it, it doesn’t fail because of the bullet holes, it just falls because it was never on hinges or latched.

I forgot how much fun Donna was.

The problem with this story is if they just asked nicely and only took excessive fat from people and not other organic matter, they’d have millions (billions?) of volunteers.

Aww, Wilfred missed the UFO.

I love that Donna is moving out.

*gasp* It’s Rose!

I love Wilfred.

Doctor Who Story xx – Torchwood series 2

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

I’ve gotta say, the old lady saying “Bloody Torchwood,” might be my favourite part of the series.

SPIKE!

He breezed into that bar.

Gwen needs to tell Jack that he needs to be honest with her if she’s ever going to trust him again.

Oh fuck you, Jack! Stop telling people that your history doesn’t matter.

The stupid western vibe is ridiculous, but I enjoy it.

Glad Doctor Who has some good make-outs, thanks to Torchwood.

Oh, Ianto is having none of Jack’s bullshit. Maybe not, he did accept his date.

Aww, he killed Jack. :(

Is it good to throw a bomb into the rift? Could that not cause other problems?

“No hard feelings, well, not in that sense.” Who writes this shit?

Sleeper

Stop saying “the doctor” when you don’t mean “the Doctor.”

Owen’s an asshole.

You should not be casual about a hospital losing power.

“I know who she is and why she’s here.” Maybe you should fill your team in.

Why is Owen tending to his plants during a company meeting?

Just leaving her baby and letting it roll into traffic.

To The Last Man

Once again, Tosh comes across as a creepy lady.

The lady who saw Gwen in the hospital is great.

How old is Tosh if a 24 year old is too young for her?

Ianto and Jack making out!

Season 2 is a definitely drop in quality.

Meat

Oh, Rhys, such a lad.

Now I feel sad for Rhys.

Jack, she’s your underling. Don’t talk to alien blowjobs.

Yeah, show Rhys everything and show him how bad you are at health standards.

Tosh needs to move on from Owen.

“Team meeting,” he proclaims while they’re in the middle of a team meeting.

This episode reminds me of the horse meat episode of Due South.

Adam

It’s a Torchwood episode about me.

Well, that’s a creepy memory to implant and make Tosh snog him.

Somehow he’s changed Owen’s personality 100%.

Don’t date someone in Torchwood.

Owen is a nerd!

Poor Ianto.

“No pride. No warmth.” Jack, do you feel that for Tosh?

Reset

Stop, Martha Time!

That first person POV, ugh.

Martha is working with UNIT, apparently.

I’d so much rather they keep Martha than Owen.

This is a really bad episode.

“What’s his dabbling like?” “Innovative. Bordering on avant-garde.”

Those security guards are bad at their jobs.

I wouldn’t trust Owen with that.

Oh Jack, you asshole, you’re keeping Weavels captive and using them to torture human prisoners to get information.

Now if only they’d keep Owen dead…

Dead Man Walking

What the hell is with that child tarot card reader?

So there are a lot more weavels than we thought and they are just hanging out in Cardiff? So why do they trap some?

This is so bad.

Do they just visit every weavel from after they arrive in Cardiff and give them a standard issue boiler suit? Who does their laundry?

This is a really bad episode and Martha isn’t around enough.

It’s Thing from Addams Family!

“Hey remember when we made Old Man makeup for David Tenant? Remember how horrible it was? Let’s do it again with Freema!”

Ianto’s now a hacker.

Are we supposed to be okay that it’s killed eight people, but yet care about this one random child?

How did Martha get back to normal?

A Day in the Death

Owen telling a lady on the rooftop that he’s dead is pretty irresponsible.

I wouldn’t trust Jack.

Dead Boy is angry.

Teenagers and dead people, so angsty.

“Jack, you get to live forever, I get to die together.”

This is so over-dramatic!

Beating up someone is kinder than calling him and telling him his wife was in an accident and is in hospital.

Something Borrowed

My file was corrupted, I needed to rerip the DVD, but we’re back and ready to go.

Her bridesmaids are horrible.

That stripper was really fast. You need to make a show out of it. You’re not going to win any hearts like that.

Good thing Rhys knows about Torchwood, she can say why she’s pregnant.

Apparently Jesus was half-alien.

My bachelor party was a lot better.

What’s she going to say to her family when they ask about the baby?

She’s really telling her parents that she’s knocked up? What’s she going to do in a few weeks? “Oh, the baby is dead.”

That is a terrible wedding dress.

Yeah, shooting in the middle of a wedding, great idea.

You’re so creepy, Jack.

So if that ain’t Jack, and Gwen was going along, does that mean that Gwen thinks Jack loves her?

If they had done the whole assembling the gun thing and then had Rhys kill her with the chainsaw, that would have been so much better.

Well, they got married.

Jack, dress up for a wedding, jeez.

They wiped the memories of all the wedding guests, but someone died and nobody cares about it.

From Out of the Rain

Oh my! The film ghost shows up without the film.

I’m so bored with this episode already.

Wow, I actually laughed at that.

Bad Jack! Don’t sscare people from looking at old film reels, the BBC wants people to look at all the old film reels to try to find all the missing episodes of Doctor Who.

Adrift

I remember the resolution of this episode, but I don’t remember why.

Gwen and Rhys should get divorced, not have babies.

Why did she want to keep the negative spikes from everyone else at Torchwood, she doesn’t know that Jack is involved. She also has no assumptions, yet.

She doesn’t know what GPS is. It’s 2008. Was GPS that new?

Jack, you have these people in prison, that’s not cool. Your ends do not justify the means.

So he just screams for 20 hours?

This show is so bad.

Fragments

Don’t lock the wheels, that’s why we have ABS.

Well, they’re all dead, that was a quick episode

1300 odd deaths in only a couple of hundred years?

Fish man is back!

Is being queer a prerequisite for working at Torchwood Cardiff?

Oh, it’s everyone’s origin story.

This might be the best episode of the season.

I don’t believe UNIT is beyond human rights.

Look at Ianto’s belt! The studs!

His necklace!

At least he has a suit this time.

The pterodactyl looks so bad.

So Jack and Ianto were fucking from day one?

HAHAHAHA! The tentacle.

It’s Spike!

Exit Wounds

Why is he sending Rhys? Rhys? He has no training or knowledge of what’s going on. This is ridiculous.

Spike…

He’s not anti-bondage, he just wants consent.

Eye candy!

Why is Gwen believing Spike and not shooting him as soon as he stands up and starts advancing towards her?

Why did he rip his skin off and not wait for it to finish unbonding?

Gwen shouldn’t have stopped Ianto.

Oh shock, surprise! Grey locks them all in cells as they drag the weavels into there.

Dear nuclear physicist, don’t leave Owen alone, help him.

“Tosh, talk to me, I need your help, babe!” Did you really need the “babe?”

This stupid childish plot is really dumb.

Tosh and Owen are dead and I’m good with that.

Jack is an idiot and is keeping his brother alive and frozen. The dude is terrorist who killed hundreds? Thousands? Caused a nuclear power station to meltdown. The dude has no sense of good.

Doctor Who Story 188 – Voyage of the Damned

Time Crash

So this is a Children In Need special that bridges Martha leaving the TARDIS and the TARDIS crashing into the Titanic. It’s a fun one, so I’m quite excited.

I like when the Doctor talks to the TARDIS.

TEE HEE! It’s PETER DAVISON, aka, the Doctor’s father in law. It’s really weird the Doctor married his own daughter.

The soundtrack is great.

Hahaha, the Doctor thinking the Doctor is a fan is fun, and mentioning LINDA.

“No, no beard this time, but a wife.”

“I was always trying to be old and grumpy and important, like you do when you’re young.”

This is such a good eight minutes of Doctor Who, so much love for the show.

Voyage of the Damned

Kylie Minogue! She’s in this!

This is the third episode with the Titanic crashing into the TARDIS. We get it.

Oh yeah, every Christmas episode has to be about Christmas. Goyim.

Did they change the theme? I don’t like it.

Oh god, Max Capricorn.

You don’t have dwell so much on the Doctor being alone.

Wilfred! Maybe the best companion of the Tenant’s.

Well, Lizzy being in Buckingham might pay off in the end.

Alonso… was he in Being Human? Yes he was, he was also in Sherlock and was considered for the 11th Doctor.

Allons-y!

The fat couple are lovely.

I also like Bannakaffalatta.

Uh oh, the Host are evil.

Morvin’s death is so sad. I feel bad for Foon.

So many sad deaths. I like Bannakaffalatta.

And now Foon!

I would have loved for Astrid to become a companion.

The Doctor got to snog Kylie Minogue, yowzah!

Kinda wish this story didn’t have Max.

Astrid falling looks so bad.

Oh, Lizzy!

Wait, how did the asshole live?

Aww, in memory of Verity Lambert. :(