Somewhere in the back of my head, I’m thinking this might just be happening in Kingston¹, so I wonder, who’s in for a roadtrip. I’ve got wheels.

1. Ontario, not Jamaica

In this edition of Lyrics, we’re going to discuss my favourite misheard lyrics.

Back in 1999, Thrush Hermit released their defining record, Clayton Park. During the opening track, they had what is perhaps the best lyric.

If I were Phyllis, I’d take a bullet and impress my friends.

Who is this Phyllis chick that randomly takes bullets to impress her friends. I’d like to know a bird like that. Turns out it was:

If I was fearless, I’d take a bullet and impress my friends.

Not nearly as awesome.

Next we have a song by Kingston’s The Inbreds called “Amelia Earhart.” Mike O’Neill sings:

I know she’s safe
because she’s an excellent alligator

Since when was Amelia Earhart an alligator? Well, why not, she should be, Amelia Earhart surely is one of the coolest women in history… and if she wants to be an alligator, all power to her! Oh, what? She’s not an alligator?

I know she’s safe
because she’s an excellent navigator

Well, that’s slightly disappointing.