Just bought Daniel Romano’s new solo album, so here’s some Attack In Black.

I also bought the new Apples In Stereo records… Chubby, bearded, bald dudes need role models.

Also bought the new Amy Millan record…

Just bought this record…

Also bought this record…

Do yourself a favour, world. If you’re ever going to write a blog post about how awesome someone is, make sure that the next time you see them, you recognize them. I wrote a blog post about an author who I knew once upon a time from when I worked in sales, and her publisher even linked to it. Then I saw her on the weekend, and I didn’t recognize her. *facepalm*

So, because of that, I’m going to prove that I have a horrible memory by writing about my other favourite customer from my times at That Shithole.

Imagine a strange man coming up to you in your workplace, saying “Hey Adam, how are you?” Giving you a hug, talking for a while as if you’re long buddies and even inviting you out for lunch one day. That was my first recollection of Richard Bell, but, I hope, it wasn’t his first recollection of me.

Over the years that I worked at that computer store, he’d call me up frequently and I’d help him with his sales and we always had a lot to talk about. If someone was looking for a definition of the word mensch, I’d point them in the direction of Richard Bell. He seemed to treat everyone with dignity, respect, and as an equal. He had a kind heart and was always a pleasure to talk to. I couldn’t even call him my client, as he dealt with a lot of the other staffers at the store, mostly in pro audio. I didn’t know why for a while, I just figured, he’s a musician. The store saw a lot of people who worked in creative fields, it was nothing out of the usual.

One day, years later, I finally found out who he was professionally. Richard Bell played keys for Janis Joplin, The Band, Burrito Deluxe, Ronnie Hawkins, Crowbar, Bob Dylan, and many other artists that would make any music nerd drool.

But that wasn’t the man I knew, I just knew a man who was a real kind soul. When I found out he had passed away a few years ago, I was sad, mostly sad that I didn’t keep in touch with him after leaving that employer.

This past Tuesday, the world lost an incredible actor, Maury Chaykin. The actor has appeared in so many films, to list his credits would be useless. If you’ve seen Atom Egoyan or Don McKellar films, there’s a good chance you’ve seen Chaykin’s work. If you’re a fan of Canadian cinema in general, you’ll have seen Chaykin. The man’s been described best as a character actor, always playing different roles without a single role defining who he is.

It’s perhaps his unique look, the rotund man who could either look sinister or jolly at the flip of a switch. He’s so very identifiable, and without the rugged good looks of a leading man, and so, the actor can move in from role to role.

If I look at his acting credits on IMBD, I can only say I’ve seen 15 out of the 150+ roles he has played in his long career.

His role as the title character in the short run A&E series Nero Wolfe was what I always knew him best in. He captured that role perfectly, taking what Rex Stout had put in novel and portrayed it with such perfection that no one could ever portray that character in the future as anything but a poor mimicry.

When the news of his death passed through the Twitter-sphere, I assumed it to be another case like the rumours which floated about Gordon Lightfoot. I saw that the day was his birthday, and so someone must have been mistaken. Sadly, I was wrong. The actor passed away at 61.

I’m going to take the opportunity to tell a bit of a story. First some background. I loved Nero Wolfe, as did my then-girlfriend. One year a couple friends of ours made a CD with songs for each of us in a group of friends. The one for my then-girlfriend was called “Nero Wolfe.”¹

When I was working at a shit hole of a computer store, which we’ll call Boron Computing, I was behind the counter, restocking the shelves. In walks Mr. Chaykin, looking like a homeless man, his hair in every direction and attired like a bum. My then-coworker started helping him out. This coworker is also half of the duo who wrote and recorded “Nero Wolfe.” Mr. Chaykin was a tad irate, as something hadn’t gone right with the service of his computer. I can’t quite remember the details, or I wasn’t paying much attention. He wasn’t in a pleasant mood². Maury just wants something taken care of, and he’s faced with two guys, one who’s stocking shelves, the other who’s supposedly helping him. The one who’s supposed to be helping him takes the paperwork, and starts looking data up in the computer, as he’s doing this, he starts humming a theme song, it’s the theme song to Nero Wolfe.

I gave my coworker an evil glare, thinking “dude, don’t be singing the theme song, that’s not cool!” Then I remembered that Nero Wolfe didn’t have a theme song and the title music would change with the story. I then realized that Vince was humming the song he wrote called “Nero Wolfe.” There I was standing behind him, a meter or two away from Chaykin, laughing my ass off, while trying to hold it in for fear of looking like a complete moron, and in turn looking like a bigger idiot than I feared.

That’s my Maury Chaykin story. He’ll be missed.

1. The one for me was called “Dirty Hippy.” [↩]
2. Hell, I never was in that building. [↩]

Over the past little while I’ve been listening to my fair share of Sleater-Kinney, and then some. I figured I’d write an article about why The Woods is one of the greatest albums of all time. My plan was not to state an opinion, but to empirically prove it. Well, that’s slightly daunting, and I’m not there yet, but I thought I’d discuss a song from their earlier catalogue. First you should listen to the song.

Like it? I hope so. It’s called “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone,” and it’s from their 1996 album Call The Doctor, which is also their second album. The album is so old, in fact, that Lora Macfarlane is the drummer on the record¹ and Carrie Brownstein is listed as Carrie Kinney².

What immediately stands out on this song is a sound I don’t think I had ever heard on record before, and don’t know if its ever been recorded, I also didn’t know it could come from a human. During the chorus Corin Tucker sings, “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” and for each “Yeah!” Brownstein punctuates it was a sound which is more reminiscent of a squeaking toy than a human.

The song is the ultimate example of riot grrrl. Riot grrrl for those unfamiliar is a genre that can no longer exist, as it’s a genre which by definition is limited to gender, and in this post-Lilith Fair world is really more insulting than liberating³. Basically, it’s a killer punk song made by chicks.

it’s fine
when it’s all mine
it’s on my wall
it’s in my head
memorize it till i’m dead
it’s yours
now i’m so bored

i wanna be your joey ramone
pictures of me on your bedroom door
invite you back after the show
i’m the queen of rock and roll

i just don’t care
are you that scared?
i swear they’re looking right at me
push to the front so i can see
it’s what i thought
it’s rock’n'roll

i wanna be your thurston moore
wrestle on the bedroom floor
always leave me wanting more
throw away those old records

we go downtown
put on our best frowns
give me a chance
i know i can dance

it’s fine
cus it’s all mine

For those unfamiliar, and or barely alive for the past thirty years, Joey Ramone was the frontman for the Ramones, way back in the ’70s when punk was first making its way into mainstream. Thurston Moore was/is the frontman for Sonic Youth, a band known as being one of the major influences in the noise rock scene and the grunge scene of the early ’90s.

I think the lyrics speak for themselves, as Brownstein and Tucker sing about their desire to be the rockstars they would become.  It’s not the greatest song, but oddly addictive.

1. Janet Weiss would join the band later that year. [↩]
2. Hiding her Judaism from view. [↩]
3. Says the boy. [↩]

Bruce McDonald reinvented the concert film. Instead of shooting performers on a stage, McDonald attempted to tell a story in the context of a concert. This Movie Is Broken follows a young Toronto man and the love of his life, who’s recently returned to Ontario. Their paths lead them to Harbourfront Centre where Broken Social Scene are playing a free show.

Let’s start off with the obvious (if you know me), I don’t like Broken Social Scene. I don’t hate Broken Social Scene, but I’ve never liked Broken Social Scene. The only member of the band I have any fondness for is Amy Millan, but I don’t like Stars, I just like her first solo record¹. I don’t even think Feist is hot, I think she’s funny looking. So why did I go see a Broken Social Scene concert film? It’s directed by Bruce McDonald and written by Don McKellar… duh.

The concert played a bigger role in the film than I had hoped for, but I can’t hold that against it, as it is a BSS concert film. I was very surprised when the first song started and I knew it (mildly), however the rest of the songs were as foreign to me as Graham Nash’s output from the 1980s.

McDonald did an excellent job in capturing the visuals, the film looks good, even though he’s showing Toronto as dingy and dirty. To clarify, the film was shot and takes place on July 11, 2009 when Toronto’s city workers were on strike, and hence garbage was piling up, and city parks became temporary garbage dumps.   

The strike played a major role in the circumstances surrounding the show. Broken Social Scene were scheduled to play their annual concert on the Island, but with municipal workers striking, there was no ferry service. They had to cancel the show, and thus throw a free concert at Harbourfront Centre.

So, I’m not begrudging the film the music, and I like the visuals, what don’t I like? Sorry Don, but it’s gotta be the writing. The story is boring, and underdeveloped, it’s adolescent and to top it all off, the acting is brutal.

If you’re a fan of BSS, see this film in a heartbeat. If you’re a fan of McDonald’s and McKellar’s, ignore it, and wait for Hard Core Logo 2.

1. I should check out her follow up, one day. [↩]